How Deep Breathing Can Make You Happier
You’re going to be amazed at the incredible benefits that can happen for you, simply by doing 5 minutes of deep breathing every day. Watch my 7 minute video.
Especially at this busy time of year, taking some deep breaths can help enormously!
Especially at this busy time of year, taking some deep breaths can help enormously!
In these series of videos I’m talking about concepts from my book “The Journey to Happy — How Embracing the Concept that Nothing is wrong can transform your life.”I hope you’ve been following along with these videos about the concept of Nothing is Wrong, because that will make all this make a lot more sense.
I’m talking to you here about a Radical way to start living your life. A way that can make you happier than you ever felt possible.
It’s the concept of living your life from the knowing and understanding that Nothing Is Wrong.
To recap…
It’s not what’s happening to us that is causing most of the problems in our lives, it’s our reactions and responses to what’s happening.
How you’re thinking about it.
How you’re talking about it.
How you’re feeling about it.
What I’ve found is that the more I drop my resistance, the more I am able to go with the flow, the happier I am and the more things have happened that are almost miraculous.It’s a shift out of the energy of Everything is Wrong and into the energy of Nothing is Wrong that changed everything in my life.
The question is, how can you do that? How can you flip that switch?
In these videos I’ve been giving you lots of processes about how to flip that switch and today I’m giving you another one — Deep Breathing.
If you try this, I think you’re going to be shocked at what it can do for you.
I’m going to be talking to you about 2 ways of doing this:
The first is to start each day with 5 minutes of deep breathing.
Studies have shown so many benefits for breathing deeply, including reducing anxiety and stress.
If you are one of those people who feels worried or anxious, or you get angry easily, doing deep breathing can really help.
When we take short, shallow breaths, we’re triggering the fight or flight mechanism that’s wired in our brains, and our body thinks there is danger near. But when we are taking slow, deep breaths that signals the body that you are in relaxation mode, what some people call the Relaxation Response. This puts you at ease and reduces the anxiety that you feel.
And then the long exhalation connects with your nervous system and tells it to calm down.
At the same time, deep breathing slows your heart rate. When you do the deep breathing, you pump more oxygen into your cells. This lowers your heart rate and blood pressure, and improves circulation.
The ultimate result is more energy to complete the tasks you are doing, while simultaneously lowering your heart rate and helping you to calm down.
And again, at the same time, deep breathing improves your energy level. As I said, when you do the deep breathing, you pump more oxygen into your cells. With more oxygen you have more energy.
Our modern world is really hard on our body, especially our lungs. Air pollution, smoking, all kinds of things can lead to lung problems. With the deep breathing, it forces oxygen into the deepest parts of your lungs and breaks up particles and residue that may be there… cleansing the lungs and possibly preventing you from getting sick as often as you normally might.
Deep breathing can also help improve lung capacity and performance.
What I recommend is spending 5 minutes each day doing Deep Breathing.
Just sit quietly, relax, and set the timer on your smartphone for 5 minutes, so that you won’t be thinking “is the 5 minutes up yet?” Just breathe deeply for 5 minutes. It might help to really visualize your lungs filling up with air and being cleansed.
Feel the relaxation that happens almost automatically. I hesitate to call this a meditation because so many people react to that word, but if you do this consistently, you will go into a meditative state, meaning a state where you feel happy, relaxed and alert. Isn’t that great?
If you start to actually go into an altered state, meaning you feel really light headed and you feel like your consciousness is changing, stop breathing so deeply – we’re going to talk about that next time, because that’s a whole other area of breath that is incredible.
Do 5 minutes of Deep Breathing every day and you will start to see incredible changes in your life.
In addition to doing 5 minutes each day…
The second part is to do deep breathing when you start to feel stressed, angry, anxious or low energy.
All of the things we talked about will be helped immensely if, during the day, you do a little bit of deep breathing. I know for me, it helps me so much when I start to get upset, to just stop and take a deep breath.
If you watched the video on the Enneagram, you know I’m an 8, the Aggressor, so I’m wired to get angry. And I mean, sometimes I can just go from 0 to 60 in a snap! And if I say something or decide something when I’m angry and upset, that just doesn’t help anybody.
When I get triggered, and you can feel it, can’t you, that feeling that’s somewhere in you, you can feel it and if you start noticing it just a little, and take just a nano-second to STOP, take a deep breath – and maybe another one – and sometimes I’ll invite the other person to take a deep breath with me… then I can slow down, calm down and not say or do something that I’m going to regret.
Try it and let me know how you do.
Stop! Don't Have That Affair!
If you’ve been with me for a while, you know that I was a divorce attorney for over 20 years in Omaha, Nebraska. Now, and for the past 16 years, I’ve been working with couples to help them stay together and have fantastic relationships.
In all these years of working with couples, I can tell you that the most destructive (but easiest to avoid) problem is cheating. It can ruin everything and it can be almost impossible to come back from.
Watch my 6 minute video – it might change your life and save your relationship.
In all these years of working with couples, I can tell you that the most destructive (but easiest to avoid) problem is cheating. It can ruin everything and it can be almost impossible to come back from.
Watch my 6 minute video – it might change your life and save your relationship.
If this issue has been haunting you, I first want to say that I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for your pain, hurt and anguish. But I also want to tell you that there’s hope. I know it. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the healing take place and people come out the other end.
We’re all human. We all make mistakes, and sometimes the mistakes are more vicious and horrendous than we think we can bear, but you can bear it. You can make it through it.
If your partner has cheated, you’re at a crossroads. You need to decide what you are going to do. I urge you to get help with this. This is one of the most critical times in your life, and the decisions that you make now will be affecting you (and your family) for the rest of your life.
What do you truly want? What do you need? Now is the time to really be looking for your own healing as well as the healing of the relationship.
Certainly, a retreat (where you immerse yourself in your healing) is the best choice. What makes our retreats so unique and special is that they are customized for each couple and the sessions are all private, not in groups.
We spend a lot of time talking to each of you separately before you come to Sedona to uncover all of the issues that need to be healed. We then custom design the retreat for exactly what the two of you need.
During your retreat, you’ll work in private one-on-one (or two-on-one) sessions. We have over 40 practitioners, many of whom have over 20 years of experience working with couples.
The privacy of the sessions is so key. Many people don’t feel comfortable in a group setting and they don’t want to talk about their most private issues in front of a bunch of strangers.
There is also a strange dynamic that can sometimes happen in group settings where the group seems to “take the side” of one person, identifying one as the “good guy” and the other as the “bad guy,” and the other person can feel ganged up on. That doesn’t help the healing!
The privacy of the one-on-one sessions and the skills of our practitioners truly create a space where both parties feel safe.
We have helped hundreds and hundreds of people come through this difficult time and come out the other side. Give us a call, we can help. Or click below to speak with one of our Retreat Guides:
We’re all human. We all make mistakes, and sometimes the mistakes are more vicious and horrendous than we think we can bear, but you can bear it. You can make it through it.
If your partner has cheated, you’re at a crossroads. You need to decide what you are going to do. I urge you to get help with this. This is one of the most critical times in your life, and the decisions that you make now will be affecting you (and your family) for the rest of your life.
What do you truly want? What do you need? Now is the time to really be looking for your own healing as well as the healing of the relationship.
Certainly, a retreat (where you immerse yourself in your healing) is the best choice. What makes our retreats so unique and special is that they are customized for each couple and the sessions are all private, not in groups.
We spend a lot of time talking to each of you separately before you come to Sedona to uncover all of the issues that need to be healed. We then custom design the retreat for exactly what the two of you need.
During your retreat, you’ll work in private one-on-one (or two-on-one) sessions. We have over 40 practitioners, many of whom have over 20 years of experience working with couples.
The privacy of the sessions is so key. Many people don’t feel comfortable in a group setting and they don’t want to talk about their most private issues in front of a bunch of strangers.
There is also a strange dynamic that can sometimes happen in group settings where the group seems to “take the side” of one person, identifying one as the “good guy” and the other as the “bad guy,” and the other person can feel ganged up on. That doesn’t help the healing!
The privacy of the one-on-one sessions and the skills of our practitioners truly create a space where both parties feel safe.
We have helped hundreds and hundreds of people come through this difficult time and come out the other side. Give us a call, we can help. Or click below to speak with one of our Retreat Guides:
If you’ve been with me for a while, then you know that I was a divorce attorney for 20 years in Omaha, Nebraska.
And since 2002, I’ve had Sedona Soul Adventures where we work with individuals and couples, and many of the couples we work with are on the verge of divorce.
So I’ve been working with couples since 1979 and I can tell you that one of the most destructive things that can happen to a relationship is infidelity. I’m sure that sounds pretty obvious, but I think in our world today, I don’t hear very many people saying what I’m going to say to you today, which is: Stop! Don’t have that affair.
When I was a divorce attorney that was an all too common theme, and now with Sedona Soul Adventures, it’s something that we see over and over again, and if this is something that is happening in your life, I want to ask you to stop and really think about what you’re doing.
You really need to know that once an affair happens, nothing will ever be the same again. Are you willing to risk your entire life for this, because that’s what happens. You’re risking Your marriage. Your children. Your peace of mind.
You’re even risking your Financial well-being because divorce and its aftermath are very expensive.
But the biggest thing you’re risking is the trust that you have with your partner. And once that trust is broken, it’s really difficult to put it back together.
We had a couple here a few weeks ago who were here as a result of the wife having had an affair 10 years ago. 10 years ago! They had done a lot of therapy, but they just could never get past this. She hadn’t been unfaithful again for 10 years, but that wasn’t enough. Once that trust is broken, it’s just so difficult.
When they came to us, we were their last ditch attempt at saving their marriage. In fact, he had already moved out and filed divorce papers. What we discovered really surprised us and them. We figured out that the problem here was about control. I’ll call them Linda and Mike, but that’s not their real names. Linda grew up in a family where her father was in the military, so he was very rigid and controlling. She was looking for a way to get out from under all that control, found Mike when they were both 19, she got pregnant and they both felt they had to get married.
Not surprisingly, it turned out that Mike was even more controlling than her father. And Mike admitted that not only was he controlling, but he was also very critical of her. Ten years into the marriage, after all the controlling and criticism, she had an affair. They could both see that this wasn’t the result of her not loving Mike, it had to do with her trying to finally break free from all the control and all the criticism she had had her entire life. When Mike got that, it just shifted everything. He was able to finally forgive her and even more importantly, she was finally able to forgive herself.
After their final session, they decided they wanted to do a recommitment ceremony. We did that with them on Oak Creek, it was so beautiful and we all talked about how incredible it was that just the week before Mike had filed for divorce.
Their marriage was saved but look at all the years of pain and suffering they both endured. Don’t do that. Don’t do it to your family. Don’t do it to yourself.
And since 2002, I’ve had Sedona Soul Adventures where we work with individuals and couples, and many of the couples we work with are on the verge of divorce.
So I’ve been working with couples since 1979 and I can tell you that one of the most destructive things that can happen to a relationship is infidelity. I’m sure that sounds pretty obvious, but I think in our world today, I don’t hear very many people saying what I’m going to say to you today, which is: Stop! Don’t have that affair. When I was a divorce attorney that was an all too common theme, and now with Sedona Soul Adventures, it’s something that we see over and over again, and if this is something that is happening in your life, I want to ask you to stop and really think about what you’re doing.
You really need to know that once an affair happens, nothing will ever be the same again. Are you willing to risk your entire life for this, because that’s what happens. You’re risking Your marriage. Your children. Your peace of mind.
You’re even risking your Financial well-being because divorce and its aftermath are very expensive.
But the biggest thing you’re risking is the trust that you have with your partner. And once that trust is broken, it’s really difficult to put it back together.
We had a couple here a few weeks ago who were here as a result of the wife having had an affair 10 years ago. 10 years ago! They had done a lot of therapy, but they just could never get past this. She hadn’t been unfaithful again for 10 years, but that wasn’t enough. Once that trust is broken, it’s just so difficult.
When they came to us, we were their last ditch attempt at saving their marriage. In fact, he had already moved out and filed divorce papers. What we discovered really surprised us and them. We figured out that the problem here was about control. I’ll call them Linda and Mike, but that’s not their real names. Linda grew up in a family where her father was in the military, so he was very rigid and controlling. She was looking for a way to get out from under all that control, found Mike when they were both 19, she got pregnant and they both felt they had to get married.
Not surprisingly, it turned out that Mike was even more controlling than her father. And Mike admitted that not only was he controlling, but he was also very critical of her. Ten years into the marriage, after all the controlling and criticism, she had an affair. They could both see that this wasn’t the result of her not loving Mike, it had to do with her trying to finally break free from all the control and all the criticism she had had her entire life. When Mike got that, it just shifted everything. He was able to finally forgive her and even more importantly, she was finally able to forgive herself.
After their final session, they decided they wanted to do a recommitment ceremony. We did that with them on Oak Creek, it was so beautiful and we all talked about how incredible it was that just the week before Mike had filed for divorce. Their marriage was saved but look at all the years of pain and suffering they both endured. Don’t do that. Don’t do it to your family. Don’t do it to yourself.
Stop! Don't Have That Affair!
If you’ve been with me for a while, you know that I was a divorce attorney for over 20 years in Omaha, Nebraska. Now, and for the past 16 years, I’ve been working with couples to help them stay together and have fantastic relationships.
In all these years of working with couples, I can tell you that the most destructive (but easiest to avoid) problem is cheating. It can ruin everything and it can be almost impossible to come back from.
Watch my 6 minute video – it might change your life and save your relationship.
In all these years of working with couples, I can tell you that the most destructive (but easiest to avoid) problem is cheating. It can ruin everything and it can be almost impossible to come back from.
Watch my 6 minute video – it might change your life and save your relationship.
If this issue has been haunting you, I first want to say that I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for your pain, hurt and anguish. But I also want to tell you that there’s hope. I know it. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the healing take place and people come out the other end.
We’re all human. We all make mistakes, and sometimes the mistakes are more vicious and horrendous than we think we can bear, but you can bear it. You can make it through it.
If your partner has cheated, you’re at a crossroads. You need to decide what you are going to do. I urge you to get help with this. This is one of the most critical times in your life, and the decisions that you make now will be affecting you (and your family) for the rest of your life.
What do you truly want? What do you need? Now is the time to really be looking for your own healing as well as the healing of the relationship.
Certainly, a retreat (where you immerse yourself in your healing) is the best choice. What makes our retreats so unique and special is that they are customized for each couple and the sessions are all private, not in groups.
We spend a lot of time talking to each of you separately before you come to Sedona to uncover all of the issues that need to be healed. We then custom design the retreat for exactly what the two of you need.
During your retreat, you’ll work in private one-on-one (or two-on-one) sessions. We have over 40 practitioners, many of whom have over 20 years of experience working with couples.
The privacy of the sessions is so key. Many people don’t feel comfortable in a group setting and they don’t want to talk about their most private issues in front of a bunch of strangers.
There is also a strange dynamic that can sometimes happen in group settings where the group seems to “take the side” of one person, identifying one as the “good guy” and the other as the “bad guy,” and the other person can feel ganged up on. That doesn’t help the healing!
The privacy of the one-on-one sessions and the skills of our practitioners truly create a space where both parties feel safe.
We have helped hundreds and hundreds of people come through this difficult time and come out the other side. Give us a call, we can help. Or click below to speak with one of our Retreat Guides:
We’re all human. We all make mistakes, and sometimes the mistakes are more vicious and horrendous than we think we can bear, but you can bear it. You can make it through it.
If your partner has cheated, you’re at a crossroads. You need to decide what you are going to do. I urge you to get help with this. This is one of the most critical times in your life, and the decisions that you make now will be affecting you (and your family) for the rest of your life.
What do you truly want? What do you need? Now is the time to really be looking for your own healing as well as the healing of the relationship.
Certainly, a retreat (where you immerse yourself in your healing) is the best choice. What makes our retreats so unique and special is that they are customized for each couple and the sessions are all private, not in groups.
We spend a lot of time talking to each of you separately before you come to Sedona to uncover all of the issues that need to be healed. We then custom design the retreat for exactly what the two of you need.
During your retreat, you’ll work in private one-on-one (or two-on-one) sessions. We have over 40 practitioners, many of whom have over 20 years of experience working with couples.
The privacy of the sessions is so key. Many people don’t feel comfortable in a group setting and they don’t want to talk about their most private issues in front of a bunch of strangers.
There is also a strange dynamic that can sometimes happen in group settings where the group seems to “take the side” of one person, identifying one as the “good guy” and the other as the “bad guy,” and the other person can feel ganged up on. That doesn’t help the healing!
The privacy of the one-on-one sessions and the skills of our practitioners truly create a space where both parties feel safe.
We have helped hundreds and hundreds of people come through this difficult time and come out the other side. Give us a call, we can help. Or click below to speak with one of our Retreat Guides:
If you’ve been with me for a while, then you know that I was a divorce attorney for 20 years in Omaha, Nebraska.
And since 2002, I’ve had Sedona Soul Adventures where we work with individuals and couples, and many of the couples we work with are on the verge of divorce.
So I’ve been working with couples since 1979 and I can tell you that one of the most destructive things that can happen to a relationship is infidelity. I’m sure that sounds pretty obvious, but I think in our world today, I don’t hear very many people saying what I’m going to say to you today, which is: Stop! Don’t have that affair.
When I was a divorce attorney that was an all too common theme, and now with Sedona Soul Adventures, it’s something that we see over and over again, and if this is something that is happening in your life, I want to ask you to stop and really think about what you’re doing.
You really need to know that once an affair happens, nothing will ever be the same again. Are you willing to risk your entire life for this, because that’s what happens. You’re risking Your marriage. Your children. Your peace of mind.
You’re even risking your Financial well-being because divorce and its aftermath are very expensive.
But the biggest thing you’re risking is the trust that you have with your partner. And once that trust is broken, it’s really difficult to put it back together.
We had a couple here a few weeks ago who were here as a result of the wife having had an affair 10 years ago. 10 years ago! They had done a lot of therapy, but they just could never get past this. She hadn’t been unfaithful again for 10 years, but that wasn’t enough. Once that trust is broken, it’s just so difficult.
When they came to us, we were their last ditch attempt at saving their marriage. In fact, he had already moved out and filed divorce papers. What we discovered really surprised us and them. We figured out that the problem here was about control. I’ll call them Linda and Mike, but that’s not their real names. Linda grew up in a family where her father was in the military, so he was very rigid and controlling. She was looking for a way to get out from under all that control, found Mike when they were both 19, she got pregnant and they both felt they had to get married.
Not surprisingly, it turned out that Mike was even more controlling than her father. And Mike admitted that not only was he controlling, but he was also very critical of her. Ten years into the marriage, after all the controlling and criticism, she had an affair. They could both see that this wasn’t the result of her not loving Mike, it had to do with her trying to finally break free from all the control and all the criticism she had had her entire life. When Mike got that, it just shifted everything. He was able to finally forgive her and even more importantly, she was finally able to forgive herself.
After their final session, they decided they wanted to do a recommitment ceremony. We did that with them on Oak Creek, it was so beautiful and we all talked about how incredible it was that just the week before Mike had filed for divorce.
Their marriage was saved but look at all the years of pain and suffering they both endured. Don’t do that. Don’t do it to your family. Don’t do it to yourself.
And since 2002, I’ve had Sedona Soul Adventures where we work with individuals and couples, and many of the couples we work with are on the verge of divorce.
So I’ve been working with couples since 1979 and I can tell you that one of the most destructive things that can happen to a relationship is infidelity. I’m sure that sounds pretty obvious, but I think in our world today, I don’t hear very many people saying what I’m going to say to you today, which is: Stop! Don’t have that affair. When I was a divorce attorney that was an all too common theme, and now with Sedona Soul Adventures, it’s something that we see over and over again, and if this is something that is happening in your life, I want to ask you to stop and really think about what you’re doing.
You really need to know that once an affair happens, nothing will ever be the same again. Are you willing to risk your entire life for this, because that’s what happens. You’re risking Your marriage. Your children. Your peace of mind.
You’re even risking your Financial well-being because divorce and its aftermath are very expensive.
But the biggest thing you’re risking is the trust that you have with your partner. And once that trust is broken, it’s really difficult to put it back together.
We had a couple here a few weeks ago who were here as a result of the wife having had an affair 10 years ago. 10 years ago! They had done a lot of therapy, but they just could never get past this. She hadn’t been unfaithful again for 10 years, but that wasn’t enough. Once that trust is broken, it’s just so difficult.
When they came to us, we were their last ditch attempt at saving their marriage. In fact, he had already moved out and filed divorce papers. What we discovered really surprised us and them. We figured out that the problem here was about control. I’ll call them Linda and Mike, but that’s not their real names. Linda grew up in a family where her father was in the military, so he was very rigid and controlling. She was looking for a way to get out from under all that control, found Mike when they were both 19, she got pregnant and they both felt they had to get married.
Not surprisingly, it turned out that Mike was even more controlling than her father. And Mike admitted that not only was he controlling, but he was also very critical of her. Ten years into the marriage, after all the controlling and criticism, she had an affair. They could both see that this wasn’t the result of her not loving Mike, it had to do with her trying to finally break free from all the control and all the criticism she had had her entire life. When Mike got that, it just shifted everything. He was able to finally forgive her and even more importantly, she was finally able to forgive herself.
After their final session, they decided they wanted to do a recommitment ceremony. We did that with them on Oak Creek, it was so beautiful and we all talked about how incredible it was that just the week before Mike had filed for divorce. Their marriage was saved but look at all the years of pain and suffering they both endured. Don’t do that. Don’t do it to your family. Don’t do it to yourself.
3 New Reasons Why You Shouldn't Get a Divorce
I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please like, share the video and subscribe to our channel.
If you feel like there might be a glimmer of hope for your relationship, please do something about it. Think about coming to Sedona to do a Couples Retreat. After 16 years and thousands of people, I’m still amazed at what happens. If you’d like to have one of our Retreat Guides call you, please click below.
Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
They’ll connect with you (or both of you, if it’s a couples retreat) in deep conversation. Then they’ll custom design the perfect retreat for you, working with our Master Practitioners here in beautiful, mystical Sedona.
Would you like to speak to someone today? We’re even open on Sundays, because we’re here for you.
They’ll connect with you (or both of you, if it’s a couples retreat) in deep conversation. Then they’ll custom design the perfect retreat for you, working with our Master Practitioners here in beautiful, mystical Sedona.
Would you like to speak to someone today? We’re even open on Sundays, because we’re here for you.
Our 1 Year Wedding Anniversary is Today!
If you’re one of my faithful readers who’s been with me for a long time, you will probably be as surprised as I am to realize that today is my one year wedding anniversary. This year has gone by so quickly, it’s been astonishing.We’ve had an amazing year:
- The wedding was so much fun! All 5 of my brothers and sisters came from all over the country, and Richard’s only brother came from Texas, which was so wonderful.
- We had a celebration that included so many of our friends and family, as well as all of the staff and practitioners of Sedona Soul Adventures.
- We’ve done some amazing travel: scuba diving in Grand Cayman, our official honeymoon in Spain and Paris, our group trips to Egypt and Peru, and then in June, we went on another amazing adventure, one week in Iceland and then on to another week in Paris (we would both go to Paris every six months if we could). We’ve gone to Austin to visit his 91-year old(!) dad and brother three times, and last weekend we went to Omaha where I used to live, to attend a wedding. It was so great to connect with old friends and have them meet my wonderful husband.
One of the most fun things that’s happened in the past year has been Richard’s involvement with Sedona Soul Adventures. Once we got married, he got to see up close and personal and behind the scenes for how everything works. He is still in awe of what happens here (as am I). A few months after the wedding, he announced to me that he wanted to help with SSA and for us to be able to use his incredible knowledge and background of working in Silicon Valley for over 30 years. Richard has become an incredible consultant to SSA, helping me so much with new and innovative ideas so that we can touch more and more lives. He is truly a partner and that is so exciting.
And, of course, along with all the wonderfulness, has come the “period of adjustment.” 😊
It’s so funny because the minute we met, Richard had an astrology reading done, I had two astrology readings done (one Western astrology, one Vedic astrology) and they both pretty much said the same thing. Here’s what the Vedic astrologer said in her brief encapsulation:
“It looks mostly good. He hasn’t had the easiest time in relationships and he could be a little challenging (impatient/rigid/moody/stubborn/sensitive), but he also looks SUPER charming and fun, and like he should be good guy.
I can totally see why you’re intrigued. Your compatibility is unusually high. I was taught that when it’s as good as yours is, it’s worth checking out – that the people are glad for the time they had together, no matter the outcome.”
The Western astrology reading also said we were super compatible, but that there would be an impatience and butting of heads that would happen.
Boy, have those both been true! I love Richard so much, but when he goes into that stubborn thing of his, it’s really hard! And I’m an Eight on the Enneagram (more on that later, if you don’t know what I mean), so my stubbornness also gets activated. Two strong, stubborn people can have some difficulty trying to live together on a day-to-day basis!
And then there’s just all the stuff that happens when you’re coming together (especially at our age), plus, we had both been married before (which means baggage), he completely uprooted his life to move to Sedona, he doesn’t like how I organize things, etc., etc. You know how it goes.
So what did we do about it? We did what I tell everyone else to do: we did sessions with some of our practitioners. We did an Enneagram session, which helped so much in understanding how our Styles fit together and the optimum ways for us to communicate with each other. We did a Couples session that is based on the 10 Love Languages (not 5) and is also based on your Vedic astrology, so it’s very accurate and specific to your exact situation. We did another Couples session designed to move out energy and resentments from the past and the present, and another one to literally bring us back into heart coherence and love (and learned how to keep on coming back there).
It’s still so amazing to me that even after all the sessions I’ve done, all the writing I’ve done, all the advice I’ve given to other people, to discover that there are still some parts of my old wounds that needed to come up for healing. My whole life I’ve dealt with the wound of “I’m not good enough” and because I’m not good enough, “I’m not lovable.” I’ve done so much work around this and I truly feel that I love myself. So imagine my surprise when I discovered that I was telling myself the lie of, “If he really loved me, he would do everything the way I want him to and he would never argue with me or be stubborn with me.” Wow! Good luck with that one! That unhealed part of me was trying to tell me that he doesn’t really love me.
When I look at that rationally, I know it’s not true, and I don’t even want someone who would do everything the way I want them to and never argue with me. I want a man! I want someone to stand up to me and stand up for me.
It was in one of those sessions that two of my practitioners, Ron and his wife Denny, showed us the photo of this famous sculpture from Burning Man that depicts two adults turning away from each other, while the little boy and the little girl inside of them is desperately reaching out for love. I did a newsletter about this a few months ago and it’s just so telling for what is going on inside every relationship. Every pain, every argument, every hassle, every disagreement is really just a cry for love. It’s the old wounds wanting to come up for complete healing. When we can remember that, we can always come back to love.
So that’s been the huge lesson I’ve learned this year. How to keep coming back to love, over and over again.
It’s pretty delicious and I highly recommend it! If you and your partner are not doing that, please come to Sedona and do something about it. Life is too short to be in a relationship that’s not loving, happy, blissful, and juicy. The juice is where all the fun is!
If you don’t have a partner in your life right now and you want one, again, come to Sedona! We can help! I made the decision two years ago that I wanted someone in my life again, I realized that my old wounds were preventing that from happening, so I did a mini Soul Adventure around it and Richard showed up, literally three weeks later! I love how this stuff works!
Connect with us, speak with one of our Retreat Guides. They’ll speak with both of you and really get an idea of what’s going on and where you want to be. Then they’ll custom design a retreat designed to remove the blocks and gunk that are holding you back, keeping you stuck in the past or holding on to old resentments, and bring you back into connection with yourself and with each other.
Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
Would you like to speak to someone today? We’re even open on Sundays, because we’re here for you.
Would you like to speak to someone today? We’re even open on Sundays, because we’re here for you.
What To Do When Your Marriage Is In Trouble
Most people know that 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce, but did you know that 67% of second marriages and a whopping 73% of third marriages end in divorce in this country?
I was a divorce attorney for over 20 years and now I’ve spent over 16 years helping couples through Sedona Soul Adventures, and over and over again, I see the same things.
If your marriage or relationship is having problems, or even if you’re just not feeling it like you used to (which is the beginning of really having some problems), then watch my video.
I hope it helps.
I hope this helped, and If you got value from this video, please like and share the video, and subscribe to our channel.
Let’s face it. Marriage or being in a long term committed relationship is hard. Even if you start out really in love and really committed, the day to day-ness of life can take the sizzle out of any relationship.
And if you have a situation or a crisis, for example, if you have infidelity happening, then you’ve got a real problem on your hands.
The question is, what to do? Well for many people, say 50% of the population, they throw in the towel and get a divorce.
But what most people don’t know, is that the divorce rate for 2nd and 3rd marriages is even higher. 67% of second, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
And why is that? Because people aren’t learning from the mistakes from their first marriage or their second marriage.
I was a divorce attorney for 20 years in Omaha, Nebraska, and I can tell you that divorce is not the answer. Divorce almost always ends up harming people emotionally and financially, not to mention what it does psychologically to the children involved.
So what do you do when your marriage is in trouble? The simple answer is, you’ve got to do SOMETHING.
You have to start talking to each other, you have to start communicating with each other, you have to reach out and do SOMETHING to start moving things around. And the sooner you catch it, the better your chances are.
But here’s what you’ve got to do if you don’t want to become one of the statistics. You’ve got to get underneath and figure out what the real problems are. What’s causing all this? What’s triggering you?
And after 20 years as a divorce attorney and over 16 years of doing couples work with Sedona Soul Adventures, I can tell you that what you’re fighting about is never what you’re really fighting about. What’s really happening is that the unhealed and damaged little boy is trying to get love from the unhealed and damaged little girl and when you’ve got 2 damaged and unhealed little children, it’s pretty difficult to have a conscious, loving relationship.
Have you seen this sculpture that was done by at Burning Man a few years ago? I love this image because it perfectly illustrates exactly what I’m talking about. Almost all of our struggles, but especially within intimate relationships, is just a cry for love. The wounded little boy and the wounded little girl are just trying to get love. But because we’re coming from a place of wounding, it can be really hard to get the love we want in the way we want it. Then we divorce the one who’s not giving it to us, we find another one hoping to get it, but because we’re still wounded, we don’t know how to have a healthy, conscious, loving relationship, so then we divorce that one and become one of the 67%.
It keeps on happening over and over because we’re not getting at the root cause that’s creating all the trouble – the wounded little boy or the wounded little girl.
You have to get underneath the issues and figure that out – that’s what brings people back together.
In the 20 years that I was a divorce attorney, I sent all my clients to therapy and it never did anything for any of them, not in one situation. Because it was just talking – not really getting to the deep underpinnings of the problems.
We had a couple here last year who were breaking up over the wife’s infidelity. He was able to forgive her, but he felt like she didn’t really love him. When we dug deeper, we discovered that she had grown up in a home where she was never able to please her father, no matter what she did. She had then married a man who was also hyper-critical and who never demonstrated his love for her. Just like her father, her husband felt that providing a nice home demonstrated his love.
Likewise, he grew up in a home where his mother never expressed love for him. She was demanding and always making him feel like he wasn’t “good enough” if he wasn’t getting perfect grades or being a star athlete.
So both of these people grew up in homes where they didn’t feel loved and they both married people who didn’t express love, and so they both felt “I’m not loved.” The wife even realized that the man she had the affair with and was thinking about leaving her husband for was the same way – hyper-critical and undemonstrative.
In their retreat, we took them each through individual sessions that cleared out those blocks and filled in those holes. Because that’s what happens when you have a childhood like that – it’s as if you have a hole that can’t be filled. But those holes can be filled and that’s what happened with both of them. Once those holes were filled, they suddenly saw each other in a new light. He understood why she had sought love somewhere else. She saw that he truly did love her, but he had blocks that made it hard from him to demonstrate that. With the blocks gone, she saw how much he loved her and he saw how much she loved him. That’s what can happen when we heal those unhealed parts.
So when your marriage is in trouble, you need to look underneath what you’re at odds about and figure out what’s causing the real trouble. Where are your unhealed parts showing up?
That’s pretty hard to do by yourself. Most of us can’t see our own stuff, even when it’s right in front of our face. But that’s what you need to do.
I hope this helped, and If you got value from this video, please like and share the video, and subscribe to our channel.
If you need some serious help – then go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats.
If you’d like to talk to someone about doing a Couples retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at 928/204-5988.
You can have the life or relationship you want. I know it.
Overcome Relationship Hurdles Through Retreats
Common Relationship Hurdles
Romantic relationships, no matter how badly you want them to remain all good and easy, encounter hurdles. Relationships without any problems may not be stressful, but they cannot be considered as completely healthy. Couples need to have these little downs in between all their ups for them to become much stronger. When small arguments escalate to something truly unnerving and disastrous, some decide to bring their issues to the experts while others simply deal with them on their own and go on a spiritual retreat together.
So what are the things you need to look out for if you want your relationship to last:
1. Letting your insecurities get to you. – Fear, combined with other negative emotions such as frustration and anger, can destroy the peace and happiness that you cherish in your relationship. Allowing yourself to believe that you won’t be able to meet other people’s expectations can cause ugly confrontations between you and your partner. Comparing your achievements to his can also cause a rift to develop between the two of you. Try focusing on the good things that are already present and see this get reflected in your partner’s actions. Going on a spiritual retreat is great because it can be the start of your healing process.
2. Following other couples’ life stories. – Don’t put your relationship in a mold. You have a different story to tell to the world with your partner. Don’t convince yourself that just because you saw your parents end a certain way, then there’s a high chance for you to be the same. Embrace each other’s individuality and work together in creating your own fairy tale. Participate in a couple’s retreat and try to rediscover more wonderful things about each other.
3. Not investing enough quality time – No matter how busy you are, please don’t forget that you have someone in your life seeking your attention and love as well. Prioritizing your career is good, but constantly making your partner feel secure is even better. Neglect is almost the same as rejection — both will make your partner feel unimportant. You can spend quality time together by engaging in activities provided in spiritual getaways. Spiritual retreats revive the sense of belonging-ness and camaraderie that most couples tend to lose after being drowned in their hectic schedules. Experience something together and you’ll surely feel fulfilled.
4. Taking things for granted – Don’t forget to accompany the sweet words with actions. Even if you say those 3-magical words every day, if your partner doesn’t feel it then it’s useless. Make sure that you stay connected to your lover and convey, even in small gestures, your feelings of affection. Bring your sweetheart to a Sedona-inspired spiritual getaway and shower your partner with love.
Couple’s Retreats to Overcome Hurdles
To achieve a much stronger bond with your partner, take a break for a while and just bask in the overwhelming joy that you can experience together in Sedona’s personalized couple’s retreat. Call them at 877-204-3664 for a life-transforming couple’s retreat! You can also visit their Sedona Soul Adventures website for more information.
Building Realistic Relationship Through Couple’s Retreat
Understanding Relationship Myths
Myths about relationships, according to experts, drive away the happiness that keeps you together. If you have this perception that everything in your life should go a certain way, then you may be in for a lot of disappointments. Frustration is the foremost killer of love. When you are put in a situation wherein nothing is going the way you expect it to, the tendency is that you will vent your anger out to your partner. If you ever feel like you are veering toward this direction, better do something about it now and go on a couple’s retreat. Here are some common relationship myths that mislead couples today:
- Good relationships do not need much work to succeed. – Contrary to that belief, it is actually the relationships that are given the most effort and time that prove to be most enduring. According to psychologists, culture, parenting style and even the education system, do not prepare individuals for this kind of mindset. Oftentimes, we are given the notion that it is only the bad things which we need work hard on. Experts have compared good relationships to bountiful gardens. You would not get such a thriving outcome if you will not put your heart, soul and even faith into it.
- If you are in love, then you will automatically know what the other’s feelings and needs are. – Romantic couples are not pairs of fortunetellers. You cannot predict what your partner is seeking simply by gut feeling. And vice-versa, you can’t expect your partner to know what you’re thinking when you’re not talking. Active communication and honest interaction are some of the things that have to be present in a good relationship. Taking spiritual retreats together can help you become more open and understanding with each other.
- Jealousy is the ultimate sign of love. – Occasional fights make the relationship more interesting. However, if you are constantly engaged in a battle with your sweetheart because of jealousy, then it’s clearly not love. It all just translates to lack of trust and irrational possessiveness. If you allow insecurity to get in between the two of you, then you are doomed. Couple’s retreat gives lovers the chance to reconnect and establish their faith in each other.
- Couples who go for therapy are facing relationship dilemmas.– Seeking counsel from experts does not necessarily mean having relationship troubles. Sometimes couples seek advice from experts merely to strengthen their bond and prevent any small mishaps to turn into something destructive. One of the things being recommended by therapists to make couples grow much closer is to go on spiritual getaways.
Better Relationships With Spiritual Retreats
If you want your relationship to last, do something memorable with your partner and you also need to do away with the relationship myths. In fact, what you need to do is work on creating a relationship that makes both of you happy. Make every moment worth it and enjoy the experience together. Spiritual retreats can also help you have a stronger and realistic relationship approach. By calling Sedona Soul Adventures at 877-204-3664, you and your partner can enjoy a wonderful couple’s retreat. You can also visit Sedona Soul Adventures website for more information.
Solve Relationship Insecurities Through Couple’s Retreats
Addressing Relationship Insecurities
For many couples, maintaining a healthy relationship can be a challenge as our society has so many clichés on how a perfect relationship should be. Romantic vacations may help to bring back the connection between partners, however, most individuals back into the traps of relationship insecurities.
While romantic vacations maybe a good idea, looking into the real issues of relationship insecurities takes soul searching and commitment. Relationships exposes an individual to emotional vulnerability and these insecurities may be rooted from one’s fear of rejection and fear of loss. Here are some tips to overcome relationship insecurities:
- Do not create problems when there is none – more often than not, people are inclined to think what could go wrong when things are “too good to be true”. Do not confuse this with reality. Sometimes, when we assume we know what the other person is doing or how they will react, it can lead to self-torment that makes one miserable and unhappy.
- Do not be carried away with the clichés – our society has given us pictures of how relationships should be. Whether we admit it or not, not all of them are realistic. Relationships are unique and people express their love in different ways. Do not assume that just because your partner is not meeting your expectations, your relationship is doomed.
- Give space for personal developments – remember that you and your partner are two different individuals with different needs. Your own personal growth is important in order to keep your relationship healthy. Give enough space for your relationship to breathe and do things that may not necessarily require you to be with your partner. Have your own hobbies, your own circle of friends and try to achieve your own goals as well.
- Communicate instead of mind reading – no matter how delicate or how hard the issues are, it is imperative that partners should talk about them. Do not assume or attempt to read each other’s minds as this will result in confusion and misunderstanding. Talk to each other.
- 5. Treat your relationship not as a continuation of your past relationships – leave the old baggage behind. Sure you’ve been hurt and learned your lessons but that doesn’t mean your partner has to endure all the burdens of your pains from your past relationships. Be fair and understand that your relationship is not in anyway, a saga of your past.
Couple’s Retreats to Overcome Relationship Insecurities
Most of these relationship insecurities are rooted from self-confidence issues and one’s ability to trust their partner. If you are experiencing these insecurity issues, try to find a meaningful getaway and attend a couple’s retreat. Spiritual retreats for couples can help you understand yourself, your partner and reconnect with each other. Call Sedona Soul Adventures today at 877-204-3664 to help you get started!