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Sexual Abuse

Have you or anyone you know been a victim of sexual abuse or assault?

I’m asking because I’m so stunned by the sheer numbers of people that come to our retreats who have this as something that happened to them. And so saddened by the fact that this haunts them throughout their lives.

It’s happened to both men and women, sometimes when they were very young, and almost none of them told anyone about it.

So the terrible parts for this, for me, in addition to what happened, is then what happens after that.

I’m amazed at the number of stories I’ve been told of people telling their parent, usually their mother, and not being believed.

Or worse, being blamed that they somehow brought this on themselves.

And then the number of people who somehow blame themselves for what happened. Especially teenagers or people who were on a date and because they were being friendly or because they had something to drink, they’re blaming themselves.

And it’s people from every walk of life – every ethnicity, male, female, upper class, middle class, lower class – it’s so pervasive that I actually feel it is a type of epidemic.

I was reading recently that when Freud did his initial work, he was working primarily with women in the upper class of Vienna and he was discovering that huge numbers of them were saying that they had been sexually abused by a family member, usually a father or a brother. When he first started talking about it, there was such an uproar, that he changed his analysis. He started talking about it as though the women had made it up, that they were “hysterical.”

And the worst part is the cover up. The person tells someone, they’re not believed and so they shut up about it. And then they carry it with them, this huge weight that is dragging them down.

And then here’s another worst part, (I keep saying this is the worst part, because there’s so many terrible parts to this), it gets twisted into this terrible belief that they take on that this happened because there’s something wrong with them. Or now that it happened, there’s something wrong with them.

And then, like I said, they carry it around.

We’ve had people come to us where this happened over 40 years ago and they’re still suffering, or 30 years ago, or 20 years ago, and they still feel it like a scar, like a wound.

If this is something that has happened to you or someone you deeply care about, I want to reach out to you to lay this burden down. This pain doesn’t need to be carried around any longer.

This energy can be released and you can come back into connection on all levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Because it affects people on those levels.

  • Some people don’t physically enjoy sex any longer because of the abuse, or it’s painful for them, either physically or emotionally.
  • The emotional pain typically shows up in feelings of inadequacy.
  • The mental part is all the thoughts racing in your head of “there’s something wrong with me,” “this is my fault,” “I’ll never get over this,” “my life is ruined.”
  • The spiritual part shows up in different ways. The spiritual aspect is about beliefs, so you take on those untrue thoughts that there’s something wrong with you. But on an even deeper level, we’ve found many people who have lost their faith, in that “how could God let something like this happen to me?” It’s especially insidious when it’s been a father, because for a young child, the father can represent God.

We have helped so many people who have had this happen to them. If this is something that is still haunting you or someone you deeply care about, please call us and let us help.

Call and speak with one of our Angel Guides. For some people, this is the hardest part, speaking about it, sometimes for the very first time. Our Angel Guides, are incredible, they are so compassionate and caring, you’ll feel better just having spoken with them. And it’s so freeing to finally talk about it with someone who cares.

When they speak with you, they’ll tune it and determine exactly how the impact of this is showing up for you, because it’s different for everyone. Some people are depressed, some people are angry, some people are ashamed. For some, it has greatly impacted their relationships, for others, it has greatly impacted their feelings of empowerment or inadequacy, for some, it has even impacted how they show up in the world. And it can definitely impact how you are as a partner and as a parent.

However it’s showing up for you, they’ll get to the root of it and put together a retreat of private sessions designed to move out the old, hurtful energy and moving you into connection on all levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

Julianne says that after her Soul Adventure she feels happier, enlightened and TALLER! “I was freed from this shame I have carried through my life.”

“I was totally meant to go to Sedona. It is a magical place with incredible people. During my retreat, I felt myself change, a warm yellow light grew from inside of me. By my last day, I felt taller, happier, enlightened, I felt I finally awoke that wonderful, beautiful spirit deep inside of me that was afraid to come out. I was freed from this shame I have carried through my life. I wish for every human person to go through an experience like mine, it was worth every penny. I will go back to Sedona without a doubt.”
~ Julianne V., Ottawa, Canada

I love it so much that Julianne’s retreat helped her so deeply and isn’t it sweet, she says her Soul Adventure made her feel TALLER! That’s a new one.

But that’s exactly what happens. Shame (or depression or feeling “less than,” etc.) does that to you. It makes you feel smaller. It makes you feel less than. When those blocks are gone and that “wonderful beautiful spirit deep inside of you” comes through, you’re suddenly lighter and happier, and that literally makes you stand up taller! It’s so amazing.

What To Do About Burnout

In the past few months, I’ve been focusing my newsletters and videos on burnout because it’s such a huge problem.

Did you know that the World Health Organization has now recognized burnout as a legitimate condition that needs to be managed and treated?

In this week’s video, I have some really good ways to help you deal with burnout. It’s so important – it could save your life!

If burnout is happening with you, it’s time to do something about it!

As I say in the video, simply getting better organized is not going to reduce your level of burnout. You need to do something to turn this around, to get at the heart of what’s really the problem. What is really causing your stress, what’s really going on?

Let us help you. Let us get to the root of what’s going on. It’s in there somewhere and we’re masters at figuring that out, clearing it out and bringing you back into connection.

Call us – we can help.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

Brian says, “Before my Soul Adventure, I was completely burned out…
I had a complete awakening and am now happy and at peace
with myself.”

“My experience with Sedona Soul Adventures was unimaginable. I arrived in a complete state of desperation and total burnout. Life made no sense to me and I really had an incredible amount of hatred toward myself. Things started to become clear so quickly. An understanding of my purpose and what life is and means began to appear, and then every session built upon that so powerfully that by the fourth day, I had reached a complete awakening.

I cannot describe in words the feeling of relief that I had finally experienced. I was finally back home in my heart. Let me include the fact that I was not a very spiritual, religious or very loving, caring person. I just opened up my mind and allowed things to happen without resistance. I was very skeptical of SSA in terms of if it was some hokey sort of thing and was going to be a complete waste of time. That could not be further from the truth. If you are serious about changing your life and becoming happy and at peace with yourself, this is the best next step you could take.”
~ Brian R., Los Angeles, CA

In this series of videos, I’ve been talking to you about burnout, because it’s such a serious issue and so many people are suffering from it. 

In fact, it’s become so serious around the world, that the World Health Organization has recognized it as a condition that needs serious attention and treatment. 

 

In my previous videos I’ve talked about: 

  • Burnout in your Work 
  • Burnout in your Relationship 
  • Burnout in your Life 

And today I want to talk about what you can do about it. 

If this is the first of these videos that you’ve watched, let me back up just a little to talk about what burnout is. HelpGuide defines Burnout as:

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. 

And it’s important to note that burnout is different than stress. Stress spikes, burnout is just getting to the point where you feel like you just can’t take it anymore and you just don’t want to do anything, you’re listless and just disinterested.  

If this is happening in your life, I can’t tell you how important it is to deal with it. Study after study is showing the kind of continual stress that leads to burnout is directly linked to heart attack, stroke, cancer and a compromised immune system.

This Can Kill You! 

So please, do something about this before it’s too late. Do it for yourself, do it for your family.

How do deal with Burnout 

So the question is, how do you deal with Burnout? The obvious first answer is don’t let it happen in the first place. Of course, that’s easier said than done, but if you’re not at burnout yet and you’re just stressed out a lot, you can save yourself or someone you love a whole lot of problems if you do something before you’ve gone completely over the edge. 

So this means Managing Your Stress. 

What are things that can reduce your stress? 

Study after study shows that three of the easiest things that you can start doing right now, today are:

  • Get 8 hours of sleep 
  • Exercise 
  • Meditate 
  • Breathe 

And of course, everyone’s first reaction is, “I don’t have time for any of those and I can’t meditate, I have monkey mind.” 

Get up 1 hour earlier. Studies have shown that just 30 minutes of exercise is optimal for everything that your body needs. And even the Dalai Lama says that he has monkey mind – everyone has monkey mind – so find a meditation that will work for you and keep at it. Stop watching TV at night, stop playing video games, go to bed one hour earlier. 

If you do this, you are handling the first three by giving yourself the time to exercise and meditate. And isn’t it worth it to save your life? 

The final one is to breathe. And everyone has time for that. The problem is that you’re just not doing it. And don’t think this is New Age, woo-woo stuff. This is what doctors and scientists are telling people to do and here’s why…

When we get stressed, we go into fight or flight and our body starts pumping cortisol and we start breathing rapidly. It’s our caveman brain acting like we’re running away from a tiger. The problem is our brain doesn’t know the difference between a tiger and an upset at work; our brain makes our body react the same way to any stress. 

What doctors, scientists and yogis in India all know is that when you start taking full deep breaths, you are signaling to your body, “I’m safe,” and your rapid heart rate slows down and you stop pumping the cortisol that’s filling into your body. 

When something happens in your life, just stop and take a moment to breathe. Go into a bathroom if you want to, but just stop and take slow breaths. 

All of this that I’m talking about is about Being Mindful. Notice what’s happening, be present, stop, breathe.

And now, here’s what I think is the most important one. Figure out how to not sweat the small stuff. And I’m going to pull out the big guns on this one: in a study of stressed out men, they found that stressing over the small stuff kills you: 

“People who always perceived their daily life to be over-the-top stressful were three times more likely to die over the period of study than people who rolled with the punches and didn’t find daily life very stressful.”
Carolyn Aldwin   
Center for Healthy Aging Research  

Think about it. They had people dying during this study and they were the ones that stressed out over small stuff. 

How about you? 

Does a glitch in traffic make you crazy? 
Do you lie awake at night worrying about stuff? 
Do you get anxious when you’re late?        
Do little annoyances make your heart start pumping?

If so, you’ve got to figure out a way that works for you to calm yourself down. This is what I talk about in my book, The Journey to Happy – How Embracing the Concept that Nothing is Wrong Can Transform Your Life. This is the way to flip the switch out of stress and back into peace. 

It’s simple, but it’s not easy, but I’ll tell you as someone who used to overreact to absolutely everything absolutely all the time, this concept saved my life. 

Do I still react and over react? Yes, I must admit that I do, but I’m happy to say that I do it much less often and when I do, I’m able to stop and pull myself back much more quickly than I used to. The Kindle version of the book is only 99 cents on Amazon (you can buy it here). The book has nine processes that can help you to flip that switch.  

Because here’s the thing -– stress comes from what you’re believing about your situation and yourself, and that’s making you fearful and triggering the stress response.  

If your boss says to you, “I’ve got to have that report by 5,” and you know there’s no way you’re going to have that report by 5, your heart starts racing, you go into panic mode, you yell at your wife when she calls you 10 minutes later, you start thinking things like, “I’m going to get fired,” “I can’t do this,” “There’s something wrong with me,” “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m not good enough”… All of which are lies. 

Simply getting better organized is not going to reduce all that. That’s why you need to do something to turn this around to get at the heart of what’s really the problem. What’s really causing your stress, what’s really going on.  

Let us help you. Let us get to the root of what’s ailing you. It’s in there somewhere and we’re masters at figuring that out, clearing it out and bringing you back into connection.

hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.

To get more information, go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.

You can have the life  AND the relationship you want – I know it.

SSA named one of Inc.’s Fastest Growing Companies in US

I am so happy to announce that this past week. Sedona Soul Adventures was named to the Inc. 5000 list of fastest-growing companies in the US. Other companies who have received this honor include Microsoft, Dell, Domino’s Pizza, Pandora, LinkedIn, Zillow and many others. I’m still in shock!

I feel so blessed and I’m so grateful to our incredible practitioners and my amazing staff. It’s mind blowing to me to think that I started all of this over 17 years ago in my living room and to see what it’s become – 13 staff members and over 50 practitioners.

But the best part is our wonderful clients. We’ve served over 9,000 people, which is kind of amazing when you realize we do all this one person (or couple) at a time.

And all of this has happened because this works – and it works in such an (almost) unbelievable way. It’s because of our unique approach and our Proven Process. All of the retreats are custom designed for each individual or couple. The retreats aren’t cookie cutter. We spend a lot of time really talking to people before they come, to really get an idea of what’s happening and what they want to have happen, and then we custom design the retreat based on their needs and desires. We work with a network of over 50 of Sedona’s most advanced and experienced healers, and our clients work with them in private one-on-one (or two-on-one) sessions, not in groups. I’m still amazed at what happens even after 17 years and all these thousands of people!

And the most important thing for me is that these are real and lasting changes. Not a week goes by where I don’t get an email or message from someone who came here last year, or 10 years ago, who says something like, “Sedona Soul Adventures changed my life” or “Sedona Soul Adventures saved our marriage.” Here’s one we just received 2 weeks ago:

Most of you know I was a divorce attorney in Omaha, Nebraska for over 20 years until I came to Sedona for the first time in 1999. At the time, every part of my life was a mess. I had read a zillion books, I had gone to a ton of workshops and seminars, I even did therapy and nothing really helped me. I thought my trip to Sedona was going to just be 3 days of rest, but instead, I did one session (with Ranjita, who is still one of our most beloved practitioners) and in that session I got the message I had to change my life. Little did I know what would come out of that one session!

I went back to Omaha, closed my law practice and started coming to Sedona for months at a time, working with different practitioners, doing my own personal healing (The joke at the office is that my Soul Adventure took 3 years – everyone else does it in 3 or 4 days!). I finally discovered what worked – doing sessions one-on-one with these amazing practitioners in private sessions, where they were taking me from where I was to where I wanted to be. It changed everything for me. I moved to Sedona and started Sedona Soul Adventures because I wanted other people to be able to experience the same incredible transformations that changed my life.

People come to us burned out, stressed out, not knowing their purpose and they leave here feeling connected and ready to live their purpose to the fullest. Couples come to us wanting to reignite the spark or on the verge of divorce, and everything gets turned around (one couple told us, “After our Soul Adventure, we feel like we are on fire!”) And after divorcing people for over 20 years, it’s really gratifying to now have spent over 17 years helping them stay together!

Again, I’m so grateful. A special thank you to my wonderful husband, Richard, who has become such a huge part of my life and of Sedona Soul Adventures. To be able to do this life’s work and now to be able to do it with my beloved soul mate, is such a huge blessing.

So let me reach out to you. If you haven’t done a Soul Adventure yet, please think about it. We have so many people who come and say, “I’ve been wanting to do this for years.” What’s it going to take to get you to make the decision?

Or if you’re one of our beloved grads, is it time for a tune-up? 

What’s happening with you? Are you living the life of your dreams? Does your relationship feed you and nurture you and add to your happiness every single day? If not, something is off. 

I started all this 17 years ago because I believe that happiness, peace, satisfaction, abundance and joy are our natural birthright. When we’re in connection on all levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual – every part of our life is smooth and happy. Stuff happens, but when we’re operating in connection we can more easily roll with the punches, understanding the underlying truth that “All is Well” and “Everything Is Happening As It Should Be” (all the stuff I talk about in my book, The Journey To Happy).

Most people don’t feel that way because they are disconnected on one or more of the levels (physical, mental, emotional and spiritual). What they don’t realize is that the stuff that’s causing that disconnect are just blocks and gunk that can be moved and lifted up and out. Once that happens, you can come back into connection and stay there. 

And that’s what we’re masters at – figuring out the blocks and gunk, lifting them up and out, utilizing processes to bring you back into connection and giving you tools so that you not only maintain, but continue to deepen all these transformations after you go home. That’s why our Proven Process works – and works in such amazing ways.

If your life or relationship isn’t all that you want it to be, please give us a call. Speak with one of our amazing Angel Guides, they are so incredible and one of the secrets of our success. They will design the retreat that’s perfect for you (or both of you for a couple) to take your life (or your relationship) from where you are to where you want to be.

 
Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

Here’s our most recent testimonial from Trustpilot, from just yesterday:

And watch our 2 min announcement video on You Tube (and leave a nice comment? – Thanks!).

Are you burned out in your relationship?

In my last video, I talked to you about burnout, but I was primarily talking about burnout in your work, because that’s the classic condition that seems to affect most people.

I hope you’ll watch this video on burnout in your relationship, because I’ll tell you from personal experience, it’s the worst.

  • Do you feel unappreciated?
  • Do you feel like whatever you do, it’s not enough? And that it’s probably never going to be enough?
  • Do you feel hopeless?

Like I said, when a relationship goes into burnout it’s the worst and I hope this video helps, or please forward it to someone where it might be of help.

As I said, if you’re feeling burned out in your relationship, give us a call and let us help you. Do you want to save your relationship? If there’s even a glimmer of hope, it’s worth saving, both for you and for your children. Please connect with us now.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

Josh and Jen say their Couples Retreat was “the most amazing experience of our lives and as a couple. We feel like we are on fire!”

“This was probably the most amazing experience we have had in our lives and definitely as a couple. We came out of the adventure much closer and with a renewed sense of direction. We feel like we are on fire! Our lives have changed forever because of our Soul Adventure and it was just the boost we needed to grow in marriage and in life. We have a whole new perspective on our lives.” 
~ Josh & Jen B. 

In my last video, I talked to you about burnout, but I was primarily talking there about burnout in your work, because that’s the classic condition that seems to affect most people and that’s the condition that the World Health Organization has recently recognized. 

But today I want to talk about, “Are you burned out in your relationship?” 

Because if you are, that can be really terrible. 

What are the signs? Well it’s very similar to work burnout: 

Do you feel unappreciated? 

Do you feel like whatever you do, it’s not enough? And that it’s probably never going to be enough?

Do you feel hopeless? 

Do you feel like things that used to interest you or excite you no longer excite you? 

Do you have any excitement for the relationship? 

Are you fighting all the time and not having much sex? 

Does the thought of the other person bring up negative feelings?

These are all signs that you’re burned out on the relationship.

What about your partner? Does it feel like they’re experiencing the same thing? 

Do you see their eye wandering and watching other people? A lot more than they used to? 

If you’re saying “yes” to a bunch of these things, you’ve got a problem on your hands. 

If the relationship is that bad, is it possible to save it? 

Well, the answer to that is, it depends. 

Are you interested in saving it? 

Is it worth it to you to save the relationship? 

These are big questions and I invite you to sit with those a moment. 

Has something happened, like infidelity or a betrayal of some kind? 

Usually when things like that happen, if you’re feeling angry, upset and betrayed (all very normal emotions, by the way), that probably means we’re actually NOT talking about burnout, because burnout means you just kind of don’t care anymore. 

If you’re angry and upset, there’s some juice there, some energy which you can build on, so it might actually be a good thing. 

More likely, if you’re just feeling like you just don’t care anymore, then that’s the question – Do you care? Do you want to do something to save the relationship? 

Very often in situations like this, couples have stopped communicating. They go through the motions, but they’re not really talking. They go along, to get along, but nothing real is happening. 

This is the first place where you need to stop. You have to start engaging your partner, you have to connect with them. 

Maybe some things have happened that have built up resentments and you’re holding your partner in a space of “I don’t like him, I don’t love him.” 

Here’s a quick energy process you can do, that’s a variation on the HeartMath process:  

  1. Close your eyes 
  2. Place your hand over your heart 
  3. Slow down your breathing 
  4. Think of your partner. Think about the issues that you’re upset about, that you don’t like. Don’t give them a lot of energy, just acknowledge them. 
  5. Now that you’ve identified these things, go back to a time where things were really good in your relationship, a time where you felt love for your partner and you felt love from them. It might just be one time, but think about that and feel it. Keep breathing. 

Just do this for a few minutes every day and do it for a week. After a week, see if that has made any kind of difference, it can be amazing what happens when the energy starts to shift. 

A woman came to us a few years ago, telling us that she was married for the second time, she’d been married for 6 years and she was feeling no love for her husband, she just felt nothing. The thing that alarmed her was that she had been married before and at the point she was married for 6 years, the same thing had happened. We knew that this probably wasn’t just a coincidence. 

As we delved deeper, we discovered that her mother had left her father when she had been married 6 years. She was 5 when it happened and it was absolutely devastating and traumatizing for her. We made that connection and this huge light bulb came on. She remembered her mother telling her all the time, that she just felt nothing for her father. And here she was, playing out her mother’s life all over again. 

When she did her breath journey, this image of her husband came in and he came up to her and just kissed her hand. She said it was the most amazing thing, that suddenly, she felt a spark. She saw that nothing was wrong with him, this was all about her own emptiness at losing her father. They came back the next year and did a couples retreat, and it was so wonderful to see them so happy together and so in love. 

If you’re feeling burned out in your relationship, give us a call and let us help you. Do you want to save your relationship? If there’s even a glimmer of hope, it’s worth saving, both for you and for your children.

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.

To get more information, go to SedonaRetreatGuide.com and get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Couples Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.

You can have the life  AND the relationship you want – I know it.

Are you burned out? It’s more serious than you think

We all talk about being burned out, like it’s a normal thing that happens all the time. But did you know that the World Health Organization has now recognized burnout as a legitimate condition that needs to be managed and treated?

It’s gotten so serious all around the world, that people are really starting to understand that this kind of stress is literally killing you. Watch my video:

She found her happiness

I love reading our reviews. Sometimes (confession time) I go into Trustpilot to see what new reviews have come in because it makes me feel so good to see what’s happening. Also, because I meet all these people when they first come in and I can see how much help they need, and then to have them have such huge turn-arounds each and every time is just so wonderful. It just warms my heart.

And I have to admit that sometimes when I meet people, at the beginning they are in such a state that I have the thought of, “Oh gosh, they might be the first person in a very long time to not have a life changing experience.” And as I leave, I say a silent prayer of, “Oh, God, please let it happen for them.” And you know what? It always does, it’s just absolutely amazing.

So would you like to find your happiness? Worse, are you feeling burned out? If so, you’ve got to do something about it — as the WHO has recognized, this can kill you!

Call us and speak with someone today. We’ll dig deep, finding out what’s at the root of your burnout – you probably think you know what it is, but after all these years of doing this work, I’ll tell you, it’s probably even deeper than you think. We’re masters at figuring that out, clearing it out and bringing you back in connection, joy and happiness!

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.

Wishing you a week filled with peace, quiet and happy!
 

In these series of videos, I’m talking about concepts from my book, The Journey to Happy– How Embracing the Concept that Nothing is wrong can transform your life, and also the things we teach to help people have incredible transformations in their retreats with Sedona Soul Adventures.

Today I’m talking about Burnout…

Did you know that the World Health Organization has now recognized burnout as a legitimate condition that needs to be managed and treated?

That’s really important because that makes it a legitimate concern and something that people can get treated for.

So what exactly is burnout?

I love this definition from Help Guide, which is associated with Harvard University:

“Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. As the stress continues, you begin to lose the interest and motivation that led you to take on a certain role in the first place.

Burnout reduces productivity and saps your energy, leaving you feeling increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical, and resentful. Eventually, you may feel like you have nothing more to give.

The negative effects of burnout spill over into every area of life—including your home, work, and social life. Burnout can also cause long-term changes to your body that make you vulnerable to illnesses like colds and flu. Because of its many consequences, it’s important to deal with burnout right away.”

And it’s important to note that burnout is different than stress. 

Stress spikes, burnout is just getting to the point where you feel like you just can’t take it anymore. There are many scientists and doctors that have done studies showing that the ongoing, continual stress that many people feel can lead to Burnout.

Now the condition that the WHO issued their findings about was specifically Burnout in the Workplace. But if you’ve ever experienced it, you know that it very much affects every area of your life and that’s exactly what they say in the definition above.

The first time I came to Sedona over 20 years ago, I was completely burned out.

I had just started my 20th year of law practice and the thought of spending another 20 years literally felt like a prison sentence. And the worst part is that it was affecting absolutely every area in my life…

  • I weighed over 40 pounds more than I weigh now.
  • It was affecting my marriage and ultimately led to divorce. 
  • My ex husband and I had made some bad business decisions during that time which led us into debt of over $50,000, which just added to the pressure.

And that’s the insidious thing about burnout – it creeps into every area of your life.

There were days I didn’t even want to get out of bed. It felt like nothing I did was making any difference.

The thing that changed everything for me was coming to Sedona. 

I came here for three days and was lucky enough to connect with an amazing practitioner who now works with me in Sedona Soul Adventures. The three days that I was here changed my life. 

I’m going to talk in other videos about other types of burnout and how to spot it, and also some things you can do to deal with it.

But I’ll tell you, if you want to really deal with your burnout, or if you’re married to or friends with someone who is suffering from burnout, the fastest and most effective thing I know to do is to come here to Sedona and do a retreat.

Now the difficult part is that if you’re suffering from burnout, very often you just don’t have the energy or the desire to do anything; it’s just easier to lie in bed. Or if you’re married to someone or friends with someone who’s suffering from burnout, they’re probably not going to be interested in doing anything.

If that’s how you’re feeling, if you’re just thinking, “What’s the use?” that’s exactly the indicator that tells you you’ve absolutely got to do something! You know this is affecting all the areas of your life. You know it’s affecting your family, you know it’s affecting your kids, and I’d be willing to bet money that it’s affecting your health. Because this is the stress that kills.

Let us help you. Let us get to the root of what’s ailing you. It’s in there somewhere and we’re masters at figuring that out, clearing it out, and bringing you back into connection.

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.

And If you want an even more direct path to dealing with your burnout, click here to get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.

You can have the life  AND the relationship you want – I know it.

Happy July 4, Happy Anniversary and I can’t believe she said that!

This past week was a big one. Not only was it Independence Day, but it was the 17th Anniversary of Sedona Soul Adventures going live on the internet – July 4, 2002! We specifically wanted it to be on Independence Day!

I hope you had a wonderful holiday and got some rest and relaxation, and that you were able to reflect on the amazing liberties and freedoms we have – we are truly blessed.

Last week I spent time reflecting on all that has happened over the past 17 years and while I was doing that, I had the most amazing thing happen. I was at a gathering for women in California, and I was in a small group when someone asked me about my work. I told them about Sedona Soul Adventures and one of the women said, “Yes, I did a Soul Adventure 10 years ago.” To which I replied, “What?!!?”

She said, “Yes, I did a Soul Adventure 10 years ago and of all the things I’ve done in all the 10 years since, all the workshops and all that, it is hands down the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.”

Well, of course, that was just the most amazing thing. So we spent time talking and she told me all about her life. It turns out that after her Soul Adventure, she has made the most amazing life for herself. She’s become a very sought-after publicist in Hollywood and I was so impressed by her roster of clients. She started a new business a few years ago and even she is amazed at how well it is going. She’s in a wonderful relationship and she told me that none of this would have happened without her Soul Adventure.

We had already been there for three days and when I asked her why she hadn’t said anything to me, she said she didn’t want to intrude on my privacy (she’s very conscious of that with her own clients). She said, “It’s so funny, I’ve kept up reading your newsletters all these years, I know everything about you — I know about Richard, I know about your dog, I know everything. It’s actually a little stalky!” 

It was so cute because then she told me, “I’ve always wanted to go to Egypt with you, but I couldn’t, because it’s always at the time of the Oscars and my clients are always at the Oscars! But they moved it up one week this next year, so now I really want to make it happen!”

Oh my Goddess, can you imagine this? I didn’t get to meet her when she came the first time, because I was in Peru with my group. To run into someone ten years later and have them tell me that this changed their life and that the transformations have just kept on coming all these years — well, all I can say is, Happy Anniversary! What a fitting thing to happen right at this time.

If you would like that kind of transformation, the real, long-lasting kind. Please give us a call. This is not unusual, this is what happens all the time, all day, every day.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
They’ll connect with you (or both of you if it’s a couples retreat) in deep conversation. Then they’ll custom design the perfect retreat for you, working with our Master Practitioners here in beautiful, mystical Sedona to.

Wishing you a week filled with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness!

I was lucky enough back then to connect with Jorge Luis Delgado, our shaman and guide. Jorge is a master and as everyone in all my groups always say, they can’t imagine doing Peru without Jorge, that it quite simply wouldn’t be the same. That’s a photo of my fabulous 2008 group.

On my first trip in 2008, I met his wife and son, who at the time was 14, a gangly teenager, and he spoke great English. He and I started talking and sat next to each other on our bus ride from Lake Titicaca to Juliaca.

We started talking about American politics, as the 2008 election was in full swing, and Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton were slugging it out in the primaries. He asked me if I thought it was possible that Obama might be nominated and possibly win, and we had a very spirited and enjoyable conversation.

Jorge told me later, “It’s so strange, I’m not sure how this happened, he’s so interested in American politics and all kinds of things from other countries.”

Over the years, I’ve always asked Jorge how his son was doing and the news just kept getting more and more interesting. He did very well in school, went to University, then ended up living and working in Japan, spent some time in China, and learned to speak Japanese and Chinese fluently. Now this year, he decided to return to Peru and he’s working with Jorge!

He was working with a Chinese group and he came to the airport in Cusco when we were about to depart for Lake Titicaca, and we got to spend some time talking. What a joy to see and feel what an incredible young man he has become.

I asked him why he had returned to Peru and he told me, “I want to really learn all the spiritual teachings.” Isn’t that fantastic? This gangly little kid I met 11 years ago, has become a worldly, accomplished man interested in all aspects of the world, including spirituality. He said he plans to stay here for about two years and then he’ll be off to some other place in the world.

It’s reminiscent of my godson, Anthony, who I also got to see on this trip and what a joy that was. Back in 2008 when we went to Amantani for the first time (a very rustic, beautiful island in Lake Titicaca where at the time they had no electricity and no running water), we did a very special ceremony and we spent the night in the home of his family.

Anthony was 6 months old at the time, a tiny, adorable baby.

I spent a large amount of that evening holding him and at times I was crying gently and processing. His parents, Juana and Joaquin, don’t speak English, but in some way we really connected.

It turns out that two days later they were doing a ceremony with Anthony that is somewhat similar to what we know as baptism.

They asked Jorge to ask me if I would like to be a godmother for Anthony because they felt I had such a strong connection to him. They said they didn’t want any obligation from me, just the spiritual connection. I was honored and the ceremony was very beautiful.

After that, I would see Anthony every year and I’ve also happily contributed to the family and Anthony’s education. This photo is from 2014, when I brought him some blowing bubbles. At that time, Anthony was six and he told me he wanted to become a doctor. He also said he was learning traditional Peruvian dance and he enjoyed that very much.

Starting in 2015, Anthony started going to boarding school on the mainland so that he could receive a really good education, so he was never at home when we would spend the night at Juana and Joaquin’s home on Amantani. But this year, what a surprise. They brought him, along with his sister, to Chiquito where we had a reunion.

He showed me his school Certificate of Excellence and his parents told me what a good student he is. One of the members of our group interpreted (thank you, Rhonda!), and he told me again that he wants to be a doctor and how much he still enjoys dancing. But now he also really enjoys football (soccer).

To think that this boy from a small island, where they have almost no electricity or running water and when you take a walk you continually run into people who are herding sheep and donkeys, is going to become a doctor…this reminded me of Jorge’s son. Anthony’s energy is so sweet and pure, yet he is also a determined little boy and I can’t wait to see how this unfolds.

Another really fun thing we do every year is to go to Seminario Ceramics in Ollantaytambo. Pablo Seminario is one of the premier ceramic artists in the world, his works are displayed in various museums around the world, including the Field Museum in Chicago.

When I brought my first group in 2008, when we were returning from Machu Picchu by train after a very long day, Jorge asked me, “Would you like to go to the ceramics place?” Not having any idea of what an incredible place this was, I said no because everyone was tired.

One of the members of the group, Jennifer Watt, overheard us and said, “What are we talking about?” and I said, “That we’re not going to the ceramics place.” She said to me in her usual very direct way, “Who made that decision?” and I responded that I did. I then said if she wanted to go, we’d go and I am so glad I did. His work is so incredible and over the years, I’ve brought many of his pieces to my home and each year he speaks to our group and we have a wonderful interaction with him and his wife Marilu.

After that trip, Jen and I became great friends and in 2010, I asked her to lead my Peru trip two years in a row (I had Egypt in March, Peru in April and Bali in June, and it was becoming too much to handle), she loved Peru and she had experience leading groups. She did a fantastic job and from that, got a job leading trips to Peru, especially for high school and college students and teachers.

She has now been to Peru 54 times! And one of the things she has incorporated into the tours is an intensive piece of learning about traditional ceramics through Seminario! She, Pablo and Marilu have become great friends.

So when we were there last week, we took a photo of all of us to text to Jen saying, “Wish you were here.” Jen had just been in Sedona the week before visiting us at our home and we showed Pablo this photo of Jen and our friend Ranjita (who had been on the Peru trip with me in 2008 and again last year).

I told Pablo this is the view from our home, and he and Marilu should come and visit us in Sedona. He said, “If Jen will bring me, I will come to Sedona!”

So it’s so incredible to me, all these connections that started with this first trip and have woven their way through my life, and all these other lives, through the years. Not to mention the other close friends I have made through these trips, people who came on the trips, people I love who are a huge part of my life.

Because at the end of the day, all of this is not so much about the sites (although they are absolutely incredible), it’s about the amazing people we share them with and keep connecting with.

This year again, our group has bonded in such a beautiful, special way. One of the women said to me yesterday, “I can’t believe how I love everyone in this group and feel so close to them. Doing this with other like-minded people has just been so wonderful.

Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? This might help…

During the past few years there has been a lot of research done by doctors and scientists on what they are calling, “Highly Sensitive Persons.”

They now know that between 15-20% of all men and women are “Highly Sensitive Persons.” 

This is true in all cultures.

I think it’s so important to note that the conclusions are that this is not a mental disorder.

If you feel like this might describe you or someone you love, watch my video. It might explain a lot.

Does any of this describe you? Or someone you care about? It can make life a little more difficult, but it can be a relief when you figure out that this is what’s going on. 

We’ve helped people who are Highly Sensitive; if that’s happening for you, we can help you.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
They’ll connect with you (or both of you if it’s a couples retreat) in deep conversation. Then they’ll custom design the perfect retreat for you, working with our Master Practitioners here in beautiful, mystical Sedona to.

Katrina says, “This was the best experience of my life!”


You are so welcome, Katrina! Isn’t that fantastic? Wouldn’t you love to feel like you can handle anything that comes your way? Do a Soul Adventure and grab onto that feeling!

Again, call us toll-free 1-877-204-3664 (or 01 928-204-5988) or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you. 

Wishing you a week filled with beautiful sensitivity!

During the past few years, there has been a tremendous amount of research done by scientists and medical doctors on what they are terming “Highly Sensitive Persons.”

The research that has been done has been fascinating: 

They now know that between 15%-20% of all men and 15%-20% of all women are “Highly Sensitive Persons.” 

This is true in all cultures. 

They even know that 15%-20% of all animals are highly sensitive. 

They know that particular areas of the brain (such as the amygdala) are activated differently for people who are HSP. 

I think one of the most important parts of this is that their findings show that HSP is completely normal. It is not a mental illness or a disorder.

A highly sensitive person experiences the world differently than others. Due to biological differences that they’re born with, Highly Sensitive People are more aware of subtleties and process information deeply. This means they tend to be creative, insightful, and empathetic, but it also means they’re more sensitive to stress and overwhelm. 

So on the one hand, it’s great, because they are more creative, insightful and empathetic. But because they are highly sensitive, they stress out more quickly and go into overwhelm more quickly. Plus, they react in a bigger way in certain situations. 

There is a fantastic documentary on this called “Sensitive,” based on the findings of Psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron. The movie is really fascinating and it features Alanis Morissette. Alanis Morissette had tremendous success writing songs that were the result of her being a Highly Sensitive Person – she is more creative and has more empathy. But in the movie, she talks about how this has also caused a huge challenge  for her because fame brought about so much attention, stress and overwhelm for her. When she finally realized that she is a Highly Sensitive Person, it changed everything. 

So how do you know if you’re a highly sensitive person? Here are some of the things Jenne Granneman talks about in her article about HSP: 

Overstimulation is a real problem for you. 

Because you’re highly sensitive, you react in a bigger way to lots of emotion, stimulus, loud noises, etc. 

You’re frequently emotionally exhausted from absorbing other people’s feelings. 

Highly sensitive people feel the emotions of others and are very affected by that, and by the end of the day you can be completely exhausted. 

Time pressure really rattles you. 

In school, timed tests would make you very anxious and it’s another form of overstimulation. 

You absolutely abhor violence and cruelty of any kind.

Everyone hates violence and cruelty, but if you’re highly sensitive you might actually get physically ill from watching it or hearing about it. 

You’ve always been super sensitive to what you wear.

Nobody likes Scratchy fabric or restrictive clothing, but for you – it drives you crazy.   

Your pain tolerance is less. 

Many HSPs are more sensitive to pain of all kinds — headaches, body aches, injuries, etc. — than non-HSPs. 

Change is extremely upsetting. 

Any kind of change, both good and bad, can rattle you. 

You get hangry easily. 

HSPs tend to be sensitive to changes in blood sugar levels, so they may get quite “Hangry” (hungry + angry) if they haven’t eaten in a while. 

Stimulants may be too much for you. Coffee and alcohol may just send you reeling. 

Because they have a heightened nervous system, some HSPs are sensitive to caffeine and need very little of it to feel its buzz. Similarly, some HSPs are also sensitive to alcohol’s effects. 

Conflict is your poison.

When there’s tension or disagreement in your close relationships, you feel it deeply. Many HSPs even report feeling physically ill during conflict. As a result, some highly sensitive people become conflict-avoidant, doing or saying almost anything to keep the other person happy. It’s because conflict hurts so much.

You’re a deep thinker and highly perceptive.

The cornerstone of being an HSP is you process information deeply. This means you do plenty of reflecting on your experiences — more so than other people. Unfortunately, this also means you’re more prone to negative overthinking. Sometimes you obsessively play events over and over in your mind, or spiral into anxious thoughts. 

Because you notice things that others miss, you’re seen as perceptive and insightful.  

You’re a seeker. 

HSPs seek answers to the big questions in life. They ask why things are the way they are and what their role in all of it is. If you’re a highly sensitive person, you may have always wondered why other people aren’t as captivated by the mysteries of human nature and the universe as you are. 

So as you can see, just as Alanis Morisette talks about in the documentary, there are some wonderful things and there are challenges about being a Highly sensitive Person. One of the worst things about it is that this is something that has just been recognized in the past two decades, so not everyone knows about it…so many Highly Sensitive People get misdiagnosed or mislabeled, or are having difficulty and thinking there’s something wrong with them, when all that’s happening is they’re highly sensitive and they need to really take care of themselves, especially around overstimulation and change.  

We had a woman here just a few weeks ago and we immediately recognized her as HSP. At first, she had no idea what we were talking about as she, like most people, had not heard about this. She told us her husband was constantly criticizing her for being overly emotional and he would get angry when she would say that a restaurant was just too noisy. 

She took the test and scored 24 out of 27. In her very first session, her practitioner used the specific examples of how this was showing up for her and did tapping around each one of these issues. (If you don’t know about Tapping, please watch my video about it, because it is such an amazing process.)  

Afterwards, the client said, “For the first time in my life, I feel understood.”

She said she felt relief and was excited about using her new strategies for her life, especially with how to use this with her husband.  

Maybe as I say in my book, there’s nothing wrong with you…maybe you’re just Highly Sensitive. You may need to find some ways to navigate that and we can help you with that.

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.

And If you want an even more direct path to having the relationship of your dreams, click here to get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.

You can have the life  AND the relationship you want – I know it.

I was lucky enough back then to connect with Jorge Luis Delgado, our shaman and guide. Jorge is a master and as everyone in all my groups always say, they can’t imagine doing Peru without Jorge, that it quite simply wouldn’t be the same. That’s a photo of my fabulous 2008 group.

On my first trip in 2008, I met his wife and son, who at the time was 14, a gangly teenager, and he spoke great English. He and I started talking and sat next to each other on our bus ride from Lake Titicaca to Juliaca.

We started talking about American politics, as the 2008 election was in full swing, and Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton were slugging it out in the primaries. He asked me if I thought it was possible that Obama might be nominated and possibly win, and we had a very spirited and enjoyable conversation.

Jorge told me later, “It’s so strange, I’m not sure how this happened, he’s so interested in American politics and all kinds of things from other countries.”

Over the years, I’ve always asked Jorge how his son was doing and the news just kept getting more and more interesting. He did very well in school, went to University, then ended up living and working in Japan, spent some time in China, and learned to speak Japanese and Chinese fluently. Now this year, he decided to return to Peru and he’s working with Jorge!

He was working with a Chinese group and he came to the airport in Cusco when we were about to depart for Lake Titicaca, and we got to spend some time talking. What a joy to see and feel what an incredible young man he has become.

I asked him why he had returned to Peru and he told me, “I want to really learn all the spiritual teachings.” Isn’t that fantastic? This gangly little kid I met 11 years ago, has become a worldly, accomplished man interested in all aspects of the world, including spirituality. He said he plans to stay here for about two years and then he’ll be off to some other place in the world.

It’s reminiscent of my godson, Anthony, who I also got to see on this trip and what a joy that was. Back in 2008 when we went to Amantani for the first time (a very rustic, beautiful island in Lake Titicaca where at the time they had no electricity and no running water), we did a very special ceremony and we spent the night in the home of his family.

Anthony was 6 months old at the time, a tiny, adorable baby.

I spent a large amount of that evening holding him and at times I was crying gently and processing. His parents, Juana and Joaquin, don’t speak English, but in some way we really connected.

It turns out that two days later they were doing a ceremony with Anthony that is somewhat similar to what we know as baptism.

They asked Jorge to ask me if I would like to be a godmother for Anthony because they felt I had such a strong connection to him. They said they didn’t want any obligation from me, just the spiritual connection. I was honored and the ceremony was very beautiful.

After that, I would see Anthony every year and I’ve also happily contributed to the family and Anthony’s education. This photo is from 2014, when I brought him some blowing bubbles. At that time, Anthony was six and he told me he wanted to become a doctor. He also said he was learning traditional Peruvian dance and he enjoyed that very much.

Starting in 2015, Anthony started going to boarding school on the mainland so that he could receive a really good education, so he was never at home when we would spend the night at Juana and Joaquin’s home on Amantani. But this year, what a surprise. They brought him, along with his sister, to Chiquito where we had a reunion.

He showed me his school Certificate of Excellence and his parents told me what a good student he is. One of the members of our group interpreted (thank you, Rhonda!), and he told me again that he wants to be a doctor and how much he still enjoys dancing. But now he also really enjoys football (soccer).

To think that this boy from a small island, where they have almost no electricity or running water and when you take a walk you continually run into people who are herding sheep and donkeys, is going to become a doctor…this reminded me of Jorge’s son. Anthony’s energy is so sweet and pure, yet he is also a determined little boy and I can’t wait to see how this unfolds.

Another really fun thing we do every year is to go to Seminario Ceramics in Ollantaytambo. Pablo Seminario is one of the premier ceramic artists in the world, his works are displayed in various museums around the world, including the Field Museum in Chicago.

When I brought my first group in 2008, when we were returning from Machu Picchu by train after a very long day, Jorge asked me, “Would you like to go to the ceramics place?” Not having any idea of what an incredible place this was, I said no because everyone was tired.

One of the members of the group, Jennifer Watt, overheard us and said, “What are we talking about?” and I said, “That we’re not going to the ceramics place.” She said to me in her usual very direct way, “Who made that decision?” and I responded that I did. I then said if she wanted to go, we’d go and I am so glad I did. His work is so incredible and over the years, I’ve brought many of his pieces to my home and each year he speaks to our group and we have a wonderful interaction with him and his wife Marilu.

After that trip, Jen and I became great friends and in 2010, I asked her to lead my Peru trip two years in a row (I had Egypt in March, Peru in April and Bali in June, and it was becoming too much to handle), she loved Peru and she had experience leading groups. She did a fantastic job and from that, got a job leading trips to Peru, especially for high school and college students and teachers.

She has now been to Peru 54 times! And one of the things she has incorporated into the tours is an intensive piece of learning about traditional ceramics through Seminario! She, Pablo and Marilu have become great friends.

So when we were there last week, we took a photo of all of us to text to Jen saying, “Wish you were here.” Jen had just been in Sedona the week before visiting us at our home and we showed Pablo this photo of Jen and our friend Ranjita (who had been on the Peru trip with me in 2008 and again last year).

I told Pablo this is the view from our home, and he and Marilu should come and visit us in Sedona. He said, “If Jen will bring me, I will come to Sedona!”

So it’s so incredible to me, all these connections that started with this first trip and have woven their way through my life, and all these other lives, through the years. Not to mention the other close friends I have made through these trips, people who came on the trips, people I love who are a huge part of my life.

Because at the end of the day, all of this is not so much about the sites (although they are absolutely incredible), it’s about the amazing people we share them with and keep connecting with.

This year again, our group has bonded in such a beautiful, special way. One of the women said to me yesterday, “I can’t believe how I love everyone in this group and feel so close to them. Doing this with other like-minded people has just been so wonderful.

Are you codependent? And what can you do about it…

When I first started on my spiritual path, I first discovered how incredibly codependent I was. In all of my relationships – not just my love relationship – but with my clients (I was an attorney then), my family, my friends…pretty much every relationship I had.

If this is something that affects you or someone you care about, I hope this video helps.

If this is something that affects your life, please call us – we can help.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
They’ll connect with you (or both of you if it’s a couples retreat) in deep conversation. Then they’ll custom design the perfect retreat for you, working with our Master Practitioners here in beautiful, mystical Sedona to.

Michele says “Before doing my Sedona Soul Adventure, I was stuck, unhappy, angry and sad. Now I feel more peace, contentment, joy and hope than I have felt in years.”


Give yourself some peace. Give us a call.

I started on my Spiritual Path back in the 80’s and during that time, everyone was talking all the time about Codependency.

I read Melodie Beatty’s amazing book, Codependent No More, but I found I could only read it for about 20 minutes at a time, because it was making me so depressed. At the very beginning of the book, she has these listings with bullets of “if you do this, you might be codependent.” With almost every single one, I was reading and going “yeah, yeah, yeah, I do that. Yeah, I do that.”

I figured out that I was codependent with everyone – not only in my love relationships, but with my family, my friends and especially with my work. I was a divorce attorney and most of my clients were codependent women and they had a codependent attorney.

So what exactly is c-dependency? The precise clinical definition is:

Codependency is a behavioral condition in a relationship where one person enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Among the core characteristics of codependency is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity. 

I actually feel like this definition is giving two definitions – one for Enablers and another for Codependency, but certainly they are very related. The biggest thing that I’ve seen with my work with couples and in family dynamics is the last sentence:

Among the core characteristics of codependency is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity. 

And that seems to me to be the central theme. That you are so intertwined with this person and so wrapped into and warped into everything that is going on with them, that you lose your own identity and everything becomes about receiving your own identity from approval from everyone else.

One of the jokes one of my friends used to tell is, “You can tell you’re codependent when you wake up in the morning and say to your partner, ‘Good morning, honey, how do I feel today?’”

One of my therapists used to talk about how codependency would really show itself in a family, sort of like a mobile. If each piece of the mobile is a separate person, look what happens when one person drops out, or puts a big tub on the mobile. It disrupts all the other pieces of the mobile – all the other pieces are jerked around until some kind of balance comes back in.

When I first heard that analogy, it made me think about my childhood growing up with an alcoholic father and a mother who, because of her love for my father, became a total enabler. I loved both of my parents, but it was absolutely astounding how every single thing in our family and in our household revolved around what was going on with my dad. Was he drinking, not drinking, what would you find when you came home? You never knew from one day to the next. If he wasn’t drinking, we would all be walking on eggshells, not wanting to set him off. If he was drinking, and perhaps sleeping it off, we would all be walking on eggshells, not wanting to wake him up.

And my mother spend half her life trying to make sure that no one knew our Dirty Little Secret. She covered for him, lied for him, even took over the support of the family when he couldn’t handle that anymore. And then the really crazy thing – and this is what goes on when there is dysfunction in a house – we never admitted that he was an alcoholic. He had “emotional problems that he dealt with by drinking.” Well, as I found out when I got away from home, that’s the definition of an alcoholic.  

John Bradshaw used to say, “The depth of your dysfunction is shown by the depth of your secrets.” When nobody is talking about it, or admitting it, you’ve got a problem. And if you’re going along with it, you are enabling it and you’re part of the codependency.

And it’s not just with addiction. Is there someone in your life who isn’t stepping up, as the definition says…

And is affecting your life and causing you problems?
Do you have someone in your life who is angry all the time?
Do you have someone in your life who is emotionally abusive?

This can show up in a lot of different ways.

The question is, what do you do if you find yourself in this situation? In a situation where there is dysfunction that you are actively a part of?

The first step is to recognize it and name it for what it is.

Are you in a relationship where the other person is making you wrong all the time…or blaming you for their problems? How does this make you feel?

Because that’s the second step: If you’re not feeling good, something needs to be looked at.

Your emotions are there to tell you something is going on and to notice it – if you’re feeling happy and joyful, that feels great. If you’re feeling afraid, or you constantly have a lump in the pit of your stomach, something is going on and it needs to be dealt with.

If you’re being yelled at, blamed or taken advantage of, stop and ask yourself:

What do I want right now?

When you ask yourself that question, a lot of answers can come in. Maybe you need to:

  • Leave the situation for a little while
  • Be by yourself
  • Do something else
  • Get some help

When codependent people start asking themselves those questions and getting answers like that, very often the first thing that happens is that the ego rears up and says, “Wait, you are being so selfish!”

And sometimes the person we’re wrangling with is saying, “Wait, you are being so selfish!”

Have you ever noticed that the people who are calling you selfish are very often the people who are upset because you’re not doing what they want you to do? Funny how that works.

It’s so interesting with how this shows up. We had a woman who contacted us a few years ago and told us that she was having problems in her marriage. When we dug a little deeper, we discovered that the problems weren’t between she and her husband, the problems were happening with the triangle that had developed with her, her husband and their 25-year0old son.

Like many young people in this day and age, he had graduated from college with a degree that didn’t guarantee a good paying job. His parents had always taken care of everything for him. When he got out of college, his position was that if he couldn’t find a job making at least $100,000 a year, he wasn’t willing to work. So he didn’t. He moved back home and had been living with them for over a year, with no plans or inclination to do anything. They had dipped into their retirement to pay for college for him, plus he had student loans, because he had gone to a very expensive school.  

Also, in the past year, he had started to really have problems. He was drinking a lot and they suspected he may have been doing some drugs. When they would speak with him about what his plans were, he would fly into a rage. The son was also depressed a lot of the time. It had gotten to the point where the whole household was in an uproar all the time – they never knew when their son might fly into a rage and she told me she sometimes felt a little frightened by him.  

The problems that were happening between the mother and father was that the father felt that it was time for the son to do something to stand on his own two feet. The mother was not wanting to just kick him out, which is what she thought the father wanted to do. The son was holding them all hostage and they were all walking on eggshells around him, afraid that he might fly into a rage.

After we spoke with her, we really got it that the problems were not between she and her husband; they had always had a fabulous relationship until their son moved back home. We started talking to her about everything that was going on and she kept telling us how her son couldn’t handle anything, he couldn’t get a job, he couldn’t live on his own, and how she had to keep on taking care of him.

Through her sessions, she finally started seeing how codependent she had become with their 25-year-old son. We helped her see that all of this was not only ruining her relationship with her husband, it was causing all kinds of problems for her son. She finally got it through her sessions that her job is not to live her son’s life.

She went home with a new resolve and they didn’t just kick him out, the three of them made a plan together. Her son got a job, albeit a low paying job, but he got a job and moved out two months later. She and her husband came out to do a couples retreat and their love was completely renewed and rock solid again. And then after that, the really great news was that their son came out for a Soul Adventure. His parents paid for it, but they said it was the best money they ever spent.

Their son was a little resistant at first, but we realized very quickly that he wanted to step up, he wanted to be an adult and act like an adult. We discovered he had some blocks that had come in from his parents doing everything for him. They loved him, they were doing what they thought was best in taking care of him, but they had actually made it difficult for him to move into adulthood by doing so much for him. We cleared out the blocks and it was replaced by an energy of “I’m enough,” “I can do this,” “I have confidence.”

He ended up getting a much better job and last year he got married. He told me that his parents cutting the cord with him and making him stand on his own two feet had been the best thing that ever happened to him.

They stopped the enabling, they disrupted the codependency, and they are all so much happier.

This is what it takes. We first have to realize and recognize the codependency is happening. Then we have to take steps to love ourselves and take care of ourselves. Then we have to draw the boundaries and maintain the boundaries.

Sometimes it’s easier said than done, and more often than not, you’re going to need help… and that’s where we come in.

If you find yourself in a codependent, dysfunctional relationship, you’re going to have to do some things to get yourself out of it. You’re going to have to find the inner strength to do it. It doesn’t mean throwing out the relationships, it means figuring out how to have functional relationships that give you what you need and want.  

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.

And If you want an even more direct path to having the relationship of your dreams, click here to get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.

You can have the life  AND the relationship you want – I know it.

I was lucky enough back then to connect with Jorge Luis Delgado, our shaman and guide. Jorge is a master and as everyone in all my groups always say, they can’t imagine doing Peru without Jorge, that it quite simply wouldn’t be the same. That’s a photo of my fabulous 2008 group.

On my first trip in 2008, I met his wife and son, who at the time was 14, a gangly teenager, and he spoke great English. He and I started talking and sat next to each other on our bus ride from Lake Titicaca to Juliaca.

We started talking about American politics, as the 2008 election was in full swing, and Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton were slugging it out in the primaries. He asked me if I thought it was possible that Obama might be nominated and possibly win, and we had a very spirited and enjoyable conversation.

Jorge told me later, “It’s so strange, I’m not sure how this happened, he’s so interested in American politics and all kinds of things from other countries.”

Over the years, I’ve always asked Jorge how his son was doing and the news just kept getting more and more interesting. He did very well in school, went to University, then ended up living and working in Japan, spent some time in China, and learned to speak Japanese and Chinese fluently. Now this year, he decided to return to Peru and he’s working with Jorge!

He was working with a Chinese group and he came to the airport in Cusco when we were about to depart for Lake Titicaca, and we got to spend some time talking. What a joy to see and feel what an incredible young man he has become.

I asked him why he had returned to Peru and he told me, “I want to really learn all the spiritual teachings.” Isn’t that fantastic? This gangly little kid I met 11 years ago, has become a worldly, accomplished man interested in all aspects of the world, including spirituality. He said he plans to stay here for about two years and then he’ll be off to some other place in the world.

It’s reminiscent of my godson, Anthony, who I also got to see on this trip and what a joy that was. Back in 2008 when we went to Amantani for the first time (a very rustic, beautiful island in Lake Titicaca where at the time they had no electricity and no running water), we did a very special ceremony and we spent the night in the home of his family.

Anthony was 6 months old at the time, a tiny, adorable baby.

I spent a large amount of that evening holding him and at times I was crying gently and processing. His parents, Juana and Joaquin, don’t speak English, but in some way we really connected.

It turns out that two days later they were doing a ceremony with Anthony that is somewhat similar to what we know as baptism.

They asked Jorge to ask me if I would like to be a godmother for Anthony because they felt I had such a strong connection to him. They said they didn’t want any obligation from me, just the spiritual connection. I was honored and the ceremony was very beautiful.

After that, I would see Anthony every year and I’ve also happily contributed to the family and Anthony’s education. This photo is from 2014, when I brought him some blowing bubbles. At that time, Anthony was six and he told me he wanted to become a doctor. He also said he was learning traditional Peruvian dance and he enjoyed that very much.

Starting in 2015, Anthony started going to boarding school on the mainland so that he could receive a really good education, so he was never at home when we would spend the night at Juana and Joaquin’s home on Amantani. But this year, what a surprise. They brought him, along with his sister, to Chiquito where we had a reunion.

He showed me his school Certificate of Excellence and his parents told me what a good student he is. One of the members of our group interpreted (thank you, Rhonda!), and he told me again that he wants to be a doctor and how much he still enjoys dancing. But now he also really enjoys football (soccer).

To think that this boy from a small island, where they have almost no electricity or running water and when you take a walk you continually run into people who are herding sheep and donkeys, is going to become a doctor…this reminded me of Jorge’s son. Anthony’s energy is so sweet and pure, yet he is also a determined little boy and I can’t wait to see how this unfolds.

Another really fun thing we do every year is to go to Seminario Ceramics in Ollantaytambo. Pablo Seminario is one of the premier ceramic artists in the world, his works are displayed in various museums around the world, including the Field Museum in Chicago.

When I brought my first group in 2008, when we were returning from Machu Picchu by train after a very long day, Jorge asked me, “Would you like to go to the ceramics place?” Not having any idea of what an incredible place this was, I said no because everyone was tired.

One of the members of the group, Jennifer Watt, overheard us and said, “What are we talking about?” and I said, “That we’re not going to the ceramics place.” She said to me in her usual very direct way, “Who made that decision?” and I responded that I did. I then said if she wanted to go, we’d go and I am so glad I did. His work is so incredible and over the years, I’ve brought many of his pieces to my home and each year he speaks to our group and we have a wonderful interaction with him and his wife Marilu.

After that trip, Jen and I became great friends and in 2010, I asked her to lead my Peru trip two years in a row (I had Egypt in March, Peru in April and Bali in June, and it was becoming too much to handle), she loved Peru and she had experience leading groups. She did a fantastic job and from that, got a job leading trips to Peru, especially for high school and college students and teachers.

She has now been to Peru 54 times! And one of the things she has incorporated into the tours is an intensive piece of learning about traditional ceramics through Seminario! She, Pablo and Marilu have become great friends.

So when we were there last week, we took a photo of all of us to text to Jen saying, “Wish you were here.” Jen had just been in Sedona the week before visiting us at our home and we showed Pablo this photo of Jen and our friend Ranjita (who had been on the Peru trip with me in 2008 and again last year).

I told Pablo this is the view from our home, and he and Marilu should come and visit us in Sedona. He said, “If Jen will bring me, I will come to Sedona!”

So it’s so incredible to me, all these connections that started with this first trip and have woven their way through my life, and all these other lives, through the years. Not to mention the other close friends I have made through these trips, people who came on the trips, people I love who are a huge part of my life.

Because at the end of the day, all of this is not so much about the sites (although they are absolutely incredible), it’s about the amazing people we share them with and keep connecting with.

This year again, our group has bonded in such a beautiful, special way. One of the women said to me yesterday, “I can’t believe how I love everyone in this group and feel so close to them. Doing this with other like-minded people has just been so wonderful.

How to Turn your Partner into the Love of Your Life

Do you ever look at your husband, wife or partner and have a thought along the lines of, “What was I thinking?” or “If he/she says another word, I’m going to run screaming out of the house!”?

Last week I spoke with you about “How to bring in the love of your life,” but what happens if you’re already in a relationship or marriage and you’re not feeling it like you used to?

Well, help is on the way – watch my video.

Sometimes your relationship really needs a shot in the arm (or better yet, the heart). Call us and one of our Retreat Guides will speak with each of you separately, really getting at what’s going on, what are the issues and what do both of you want? Then they’ll put together the perfect retreat that’s right for the two of you.

Because each retreat is completely customized and because the sessions are all completely private (not in groups), you’ll get exactly what you need. It will bring you back into the Love and Connection you’re craving.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
They’ll connect with you (or both of you if it’s a couples retreat) in deep conversation. Then they’ll custom design the perfect retreat for you, working with our Master Practitioners here in beautiful, mystical Sedona to.

Lori and Michio say, “Before our Soul Adventure, we WERE going to Divorce, after Sedona Soul Adventures, we are closer than we have ever been, we are forever changed” (and that’s 90 days after their retreat!)

I love it so much that Lori waited 3 MONTHS(!) to write that, because she wanted to see if the experience would last. I’m so happy to say, that’s exactly what happens with a Sedona Soul Adventure! It works and it lasts!

In the last video, I talk with you about “How to bring in the love of your life.” But what about all of you out there who are already with someone, and you’ve been together for awhile… and he isn’t exactly Prince Charming anymore…or she’s not exactly getting you all excited like she used to?

In other words, even if the bloom is off the rose, can you turn them back into the love of your life?

The answer is Yes! and it’s actually pretty simple…not necessarily easy, but it is simple.

It comes down to two things and after I tell you about the two things, I’m going to tell you about two processes you can use to implement the two things.

Here are the two things – and I promise they work. Most of you know that I was a divorce attorney for over 20 years and I’ve now done couples work at Sedona Soul Adventures for 17 years – I know what I’m talking about.

If your relationship is not making you deliriously happy, see what happens when you…  

  1. Stop focusing on what you don’t like
  2. Start being what you want

From my other videos, I’ve spoken so much about Quantum Physics and how things can be changed. I’ve talked about the ideas of Einstein and other Quantum Physicists, that…

Everything is energy

What we focus on, we get more of

We are all creating our reality in every moment

What we think about and talk about expands

1. Stop focusing on what you don’t like

So look at this in relationship to how you’re dealing with your husband, wife or partner. If you’ve decided there’s something “wrong” with them, don’t you find yourself just constantly noticing every little thing about that. If you’re telling yourself (and your friends and your mother) that your husband is a slob, do you see how every single time he even leaves a sock out that it makes you crazy? And then you berate him and he feels like he can never do anything right?

And if you feel like your wife doesn’t love and appreciate you, do you notice how often you notice that she doesn’t love and appreciate you? You’ll find it, sometimes even when it’s not there.

If you want your relationship to turn around, you have to do something to make it turn around… maybe even something to turn it on its head.  

Which brings us to the second thing:

2. Start being what you want

If you want your husband to be more romantic, you be more romantic. Bring him roses – that will get his attention.

If you want your wife to be more understanding, you be more understanding. Ask her about her day. Ask her how she’s doing, how she’s feeling. Ask and then just sit and listen. One of my practitioner friends says “For women, the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world is listening.”

Gandhi said “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

I’m not sure he meant it with regard to relationships, but I’m pretty sure he would agree. It starts with you.

I promised you two processes that will really help with this and they help because they actually start to move the energy. The first is the first process in my book: Change Your Story, Change Your Life.

For 30 days, make a decision that you are going to tell yourself a different story about your husband, wife or partner. If the old thoughts come up, just stop them and think about something else. Don’t say anything negative about your partner to anyone else, including yourself.

In addition to changing your story, during that same 30 days, keep a gratitude journal.

Every morning, take three minutes (that’s all!) and write five things that you are truly grateful for about the person. It must be things that are true for you. So, if it’s something about your mate it could be:

  • I love his/her beautiful blue eyes.
  • I love that he/she likes dogs.
  • I love that he/she is good at his job.
  • I love that he has things that he enjoys, like baseball.
  • I love that he/she loves our children.

After you have written down the “High 5,” take just a moment to close your eyes, take a deep breath and truly FEEL the gratitude for this person or situation. The more you can infuse Emotion into the process, the faster things will start to move. If you find you can’t muster the feeling, it’s okay – just breathe and let it go. As you move more and more into the process, it will start to come. Don’t force it.

Don’t tell the other person (or anyone else for that matter) that you are doing this. The magic lies in what you will start to see happening in just a short time — as little as three days!

If you do all of this for 30 days:

  1. Stop focusing on what you don’t like
  2. Start being what you want

and do the two processes:

  1. Change Your Story, Change Your Life
  2. Gratitude Journal

I think you will be absolutely amazed at how your partner has suddenly changed.

I have so many stories of how this has worked, both in people doing a Sedona Soul Adventure and in my coaching. I think my favorite is one of my coaching clients who was ready to leave because her husband would not help her with the children or any part of the housework. They both had very demanding jobs and she had begged, cajoled, yelled, screamed and threatened to leave, and nothing was having any effect on him. She would go on these tirades to him and to me about how selfish he was, that he was a male chauvinist pig, etc., etc. It took me a while to convince her to just stop with all of the arguing and yelling, but finally I got her to try it because she had tried everything else.

She changed her story and started telling her friends about how hard her husband worked at his job. She wrote in her Gratitude Journal the things she liked about him, and she kept having to repeat things because by this time she was down to just a few things that she liked about him. But suddenly, she started remembering more and more things that she liked about him and even loved about him, because he was a good man and he certainly loved their children. She suddenly started feeling all this love for him. And just as suddenly, within three weeks, he started doing the dishes. She hadn’t told him about the Gratitude Journal and she didn’t say anything when he started doing the dishes, except to say “thank you.” And then he started doing laundry. And then he started making meals. She just about fell over when one evening she came home late and he had already fed the kids and had drawn a hot bath for her.

She stopped criticizing and started saying “thank you” and “I love you,” and everything in their relationship changed. She told me last year, she’s never loved him more than she does now and he feels exactly the same way. He went from feeling criticized to feeling love, and we all react much more positively to love, I can guarantee you that.

And I can hear some of you out there saying, “But why should I be the one that has to do everything? I already have to do everything!” and I’m sorry to say, that’s exactly what’s gotten you into this loop that happens with relationships once they start to go wrong. Try this for 30 days, what have you got to lose? And let me know what happens.

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.

And If you want an even more direct path to having the relationship of your dreams, click here to get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.

You can have the life  AND the relationship you want – I know it.

I was lucky enough back then to connect with Jorge Luis Delgado, our shaman and guide. Jorge is a master and as everyone in all my groups always say, they can’t imagine doing Peru without Jorge, that it quite simply wouldn’t be the same. That’s a photo of my fabulous 2008 group.

On my first trip in 2008, I met his wife and son, who at the time was 14, a gangly teenager, and he spoke great English. He and I started talking and sat next to each other on our bus ride from Lake Titicaca to Juliaca.

We started talking about American politics, as the 2008 election was in full swing, and Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton were slugging it out in the primaries. He asked me if I thought it was possible that Obama might be nominated and possibly win, and we had a very spirited and enjoyable conversation.

Jorge told me later, “It’s so strange, I’m not sure how this happened, he’s so interested in American politics and all kinds of things from other countries.”

Over the years, I’ve always asked Jorge how his son was doing and the news just kept getting more and more interesting. He did very well in school, went to University, then ended up living and working in Japan, spent some time in China, and learned to speak Japanese and Chinese fluently. Now this year, he decided to return to Peru and he’s working with Jorge!

He was working with a Chinese group and he came to the airport in Cusco when we were about to depart for Lake Titicaca, and we got to spend some time talking. What a joy to see and feel what an incredible young man he has become.

I asked him why he had returned to Peru and he told me, “I want to really learn all the spiritual teachings.” Isn’t that fantastic? This gangly little kid I met 11 years ago, has become a worldly, accomplished man interested in all aspects of the world, including spirituality. He said he plans to stay here for about two years and then he’ll be off to some other place in the world.

It’s reminiscent of my godson, Anthony, who I also got to see on this trip and what a joy that was. Back in 2008 when we went to Amantani for the first time (a very rustic, beautiful island in Lake Titicaca where at the time they had no electricity and no running water), we did a very special ceremony and we spent the night in the home of his family.

Anthony was 6 months old at the time, a tiny, adorable baby.

I spent a large amount of that evening holding him and at times I was crying gently and processing. His parents, Juana and Joaquin, don’t speak English, but in some way we really connected.

It turns out that two days later they were doing a ceremony with Anthony that is somewhat similar to what we know as baptism.

They asked Jorge to ask me if I would like to be a godmother for Anthony because they felt I had such a strong connection to him. They said they didn’t want any obligation from me, just the spiritual connection. I was honored and the ceremony was very beautiful.

After that, I would see Anthony every year and I’ve also happily contributed to the family and Anthony’s education. This photo is from 2014, when I brought him some blowing bubbles. At that time, Anthony was six and he told me he wanted to become a doctor. He also said he was learning traditional Peruvian dance and he enjoyed that very much.

Starting in 2015, Anthony started going to boarding school on the mainland so that he could receive a really good education, so he was never at home when we would spend the night at Juana and Joaquin’s home on Amantani. But this year, what a surprise. They brought him, along with his sister, to Chiquito where we had a reunion.

He showed me his school Certificate of Excellence and his parents told me what a good student he is. One of the members of our group interpreted (thank you, Rhonda!), and he told me again that he wants to be a doctor and how much he still enjoys dancing. But now he also really enjoys football (soccer).

To think that this boy from a small island, where they have almost no electricity or running water and when you take a walk you continually run into people who are herding sheep and donkeys, is going to become a doctor…this reminded me of Jorge’s son. Anthony’s energy is so sweet and pure, yet he is also a determined little boy and I can’t wait to see how this unfolds.

Another really fun thing we do every year is to go to Seminario Ceramics in Ollantaytambo. Pablo Seminario is one of the premier ceramic artists in the world, his works are displayed in various museums around the world, including the Field Museum in Chicago.

When I brought my first group in 2008, when we were returning from Machu Picchu by train after a very long day, Jorge asked me, “Would you like to go to the ceramics place?” Not having any idea of what an incredible place this was, I said no because everyone was tired.

One of the members of the group, Jennifer Watt, overheard us and said, “What are we talking about?” and I said, “That we’re not going to the ceramics place.” She said to me in her usual very direct way, “Who made that decision?” and I responded that I did. I then said if she wanted to go, we’d go and I am so glad I did. His work is so incredible and over the years, I’ve brought many of his pieces to my home and each year he speaks to our group and we have a wonderful interaction with him and his wife Marilu.

After that trip, Jen and I became great friends and in 2010, I asked her to lead my Peru trip two years in a row (I had Egypt in March, Peru in April and Bali in June, and it was becoming too much to handle), she loved Peru and she had experience leading groups. She did a fantastic job and from that, got a job leading trips to Peru, especially for high school and college students and teachers.

She has now been to Peru 54 times! And one of the things she has incorporated into the tours is an intensive piece of learning about traditional ceramics through Seminario! She, Pablo and Marilu have become great friends.

So when we were there last week, we took a photo of all of us to text to Jen saying, “Wish you were here.” Jen had just been in Sedona the week before visiting us at our home and we showed Pablo this photo of Jen and our friend Ranjita (who had been on the Peru trip with me in 2008 and again last year).

I told Pablo this is the view from our home, and he and Marilu should come and visit us in Sedona. He said, “If Jen will bring me, I will come to Sedona!”

So it’s so incredible to me, all these connections that started with this first trip and have woven their way through my life, and all these other lives, through the years. Not to mention the other close friends I have made through these trips, people who came on the trips, people I love who are a huge part of my life.

Because at the end of the day, all of this is not so much about the sites (although they are absolutely incredible), it’s about the amazing people we share them with and keep connecting with.

This year again, our group has bonded in such a beautiful, special way. One of the women said to me yesterday, “I can’t believe how I love everyone in this group and feel so close to them. Doing this with other like-minded people has just been so wonderful.

How to Bring in The Love of Your Life

Would you like to have a love relationship in your life? Do you sometimes feel frustrated that it’s not happening? Do you tell yourself things like, “All the good ones are taken”?

If so, you need to watch my video.

Many of you know, I got married almost two years ago — let me tell you the story of how I brought in the love of my life.

And next week, I’m going to tell you about how to turn the one you’re with into the love of your life.

As I talk about in my book, it’s all about energy. How do you shift out of the energy of disappointment and fear and back into the energy of Excited Expectation? It’s simple, but it’s not necessarily easy.

Let us help. If there’s something in your life that’s eluding you – like a loving relationship (or satisfying work, or prosperity and abundance), come to Sedona to do a retreat. We’ll identify what’s blocking the energy, move out the blocks and bring you back into connection on all the levels – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. When you’re operating in connection, everything flows to you with grace and ease.

Or if you’d prefer, call us toll-free at 1-877-204-3664 (US and Canada). For our friends outside the US and Canada, call 01 928-204-5988 or click here and one of our Retreat Guides will call you.
They’ll connect with you (or both of you if it’s a couples retreat) in deep conversation. Then they’ll custom design the perfect retreat for you, working with our Master Practitioners here in beautiful, mystical Sedona to.

Anne says her Soul Adventure has brought in more “loving relationships”

Today I’m going to talk to you about “How to bring in the love of your life.”

Many of you who get my newsletters and have been following me for a while know that I got married last year. And no one was more surprised than I was, especially when I look back on what happened. Now that I look back, I’m seeing that this was another example of how flipping the switch and knowing that nothing is wrong can bring you your deepest wishes, dreams and desires.

In my other videos, I’ve told you stories of other times in my life where this happened so dramatically. I’ve told you how when I went into this space a number of years ago, that I suddenly released 40 pounds in 5 weeks without dieting or exercising. 

I’ve told you about the miracle of when I first came to Sedona over 20 years ago, how every part of my life was such a mess, including that I was $50,000 in debt. After coming to Sedona, I went into a space of surrender and when I flipped that switch, suddenly $50,000 dropped out of the sky. You can find these videos on our YouTube channel.  

So today I want to talk about how to bring in the love of your life and in my next video, I’m going to talk about how to turn the person you’re with into the love of your life.

So here’s the secret: it all goes back to learning how to flip the switch.

Let me tell you what I know to be true after 20 years as a divorce attorney and 17 years of doing couples work with Sedona Soul Adventures:

  • Everything is energy.
  • What we focus on, we get more of.
  • We are all creating our reality in every moment.
  • What we think about and talk about expands.

I’ve spoken about the science of all this in my other videos, including the teachings of other Quantum Physics teachers, like Albert Einstein.

If you are wanting to bring a loving relationship into your life, take a look at what you focus on, what do you talk about and think about.

If you are like most people that I come across, my guess is that you say things to yourself like:

“Where is he?”

“Why isn’t she showing up?”

“The good ones are all gone.”

“I’m too old to find someone.”

“I’m too fat to find someone.”

“Men are jerks.”

“Women are mean.”

“I’ll never find a spiritual person.”

“I’m afraid I’m never going to find anyone.”

I certainly understand where all those thoughts come from. I have been married and divorced, I’ve been hurt, I’ve gone out with a lot of frogs and I’ve had negative thoughts come into my head from time to time. I was on Match.com for 8 years after my divorce and I never met one person that I went out with more than once. I don’t even know why I stayed on for so long, except now that I look back, I see why.

It all comes down to this:

Whatever you want to bring into your life (a husband, a wife, a partner, money, healthy body, great job) you have to be a vibrational match for.  

Negative emotions, such as fear, anger or frustration keep it away. Excited expectation brings it faster.

So how does this work?

1. You have to get okay with you.

Do you love yourself? I mean really love yourself? Do you think you’re pretty much okay?  

If you don’t love you, how can anyone else love you?

2. You need to do whatever it takes to keep you out of fear, anger and frustration, and keep you in the higher vibrational emotions of excited expectation, hope and love.

In my book and in my other videos, I’ve given you lots and lots of processes that will help you with both of these:

Tapping
Deep breathing
Journaling
Change Your Story, Change Your Life
Meditation  

Anything you can do that will help you flip that switch out of fear and frustration, and back into excited expectation.

Here’s what happened to me…

After my divorce, I realized that I still had deep places of not completely loving myself. The divorce had triggered those insecurities and all kinds of fears around Is there something wrong with me? and Am I loveable?

I was actually kind of stunned that I was still having those kinds of thoughts after all the work I’ve done over the years, but I’ll tell you, it really is about peeling the onion… we keep discovering where these things are.  

After I moved through that and did a little bit of dating, I made the decision that I love my life, I love my work, I love my house, I love my friends, why mess any of that up? And the minute I went into that release, out of the blue I met someone who really opened my heart. That relationship didn’t work out, but it did make me realize that I wanted someone in my life again. So I did what I tell everyone else to do:

I made a list of exactly what I wanted – and it included 22 very specific items.

I would meditate and think about how I would feel when I connected with him. I kept myself in a state of Excited Expectation.

I was very strict about the process I call, Change Your Story, Change Your Life, which is one of the processes in my book. I didn’t talk about (or think about) how there’s no one around, or it’s so hard to meet someone or any negative chatter about men (and ladies, when we’re alone, you know how often that happens).

And then in the second half of 2016, I finished my book and it was published. I spent six months of just constant work on the book, so I wasn’t much thinking about anything else. The book came out in October that year and I remember on the day it hit #1, I thought to myself, “Okay, now I’ve got time to meet a guy.”

And literally four weeks later, he found me. On Match. All those years of staying on Match finally paid off. He sent me a sweet message and then I was bummed to find out he lived in California. I had an iron clad rule that I had developed over the past few years that if someone was further away than Phoenix, I wouldn’t even respond because it would always develop into this back and forth that I didn’t want to get into. So even though it felt kind of rude, I just wouldn’t even respond.

But when I got Richard’s first message, I was sitting in LA watching the sunset with my sister, drinking a glass of champagne. I saw his picture and read his profile, where he talked about his work and his spirituality, and showed it to my sister who said, “He’s cute!” I thought to myself, “I’m not going to be rude to this guy.”

So I wrote him back and said, “You look great, but you’re in San Jose.” He immediately wrote back and said, “I know, I saw the seemingly insurmountable distance, but I just wanted to let you know that there’s someone out here who sees who you are and admires what you’re doing in the world.” Because Richard is a total Silicon Valley computer guy and he had very easily figured out who I was – and he had even watched some of my videos – I showed his message to my sister and she said, “Good answer!” The rest is history.

As I look back on this now, I see that I did what I talk about in my book. I figured out what I wanted, but I didn’t drive myself crazy obsessing about it. I kept myself in Excited Expectation, knowing and trusting that what I wanted was on its way.

There’s an old teaching that says, “Whatever you want, wants you.”

You’re having these desires because there’s someone out there who’s desiring you. If you can come into that energy and stay in that energy, everything you want is on its way.

We had a woman come here for a Soul Adventure a number of years ago and she came because she said, “I want to find a husband, it’s time. I want children, I’m running out of time, I’m over 30, I want it and I want it now!”

We all spent a whole bunch of time with her, trying to get her to see this from an energetic standpoint, that the frustration and demands were negative energy that was keeping what she wanted from her. She is an accountant, so she’s very smart and very much in her head, so at first, this didn’t make sense to her and she was really resisting. Even worse, she had a lot of “I’m not okay” issues from her childhood, so we were also trying to help her with that and she was having trouble seeing how that was related.  

I was starting to be a little concerned that we weren’t going to be able to help her and then suddenly, in one of her final sessions, she was doing a meditation out on the land and her Higher Self suddenly came in in such a way that she felt totally healed. She was filled with love for herself and everyone else.

She told me later that she literally felt the frustration and her demands that this happen now, just melt away. She said it was so funny that she came here wanting to figure out how to make a man come into her life and she was leaving with that obsession just released.

So of course you know what happened next. On the plane home, she met the most interesting, attractive man who was totally interested in the amazing spiritual adventure she had just had. They lived in two different cities and had a long distance relationship for a while, married the next year and now they have two children! When we release the obsession and just stay in the higher energies of excited expectation, that’s where the magic happens.

I hope this helped, and if you got value from this video, please take the time to like it, share it with someone in your life who think might get something out of it, subscribe to our channel.

And If you want an even more direct path to having the relationship of your dreams, click here to get your complimentary copy of The Sedona Guide to Spiritual Retreats today.

Or if you’d like to talk to someone about doing a retreat that’s custom designed for you call us at (928) 204-5988.

You can have the life  AND the relationship you want – I know it.

I was lucky enough back then to connect with Jorge Luis Delgado, our shaman and guide. Jorge is a master and as everyone in all my groups always say, they can’t imagine doing Peru without Jorge, that it quite simply wouldn’t be the same. That’s a photo of my fabulous 2008 group.

On my first trip in 2008, I met his wife and son, who at the time was 14, a gangly teenager, and he spoke great English. He and I started talking and sat next to each other on our bus ride from Lake Titicaca to Juliaca.

We started talking about American politics, as the 2008 election was in full swing, and Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton were slugging it out in the primaries. He asked me if I thought it was possible that Obama might be nominated and possibly win, and we had a very spirited and enjoyable conversation.

Jorge told me later, “It’s so strange, I’m not sure how this happened, he’s so interested in American politics and all kinds of things from other countries.”

Over the years, I’ve always asked Jorge how his son was doing and the news just kept getting more and more interesting. He did very well in school, went to University, then ended up living and working in Japan, spent some time in China, and learned to speak Japanese and Chinese fluently. Now this year, he decided to return to Peru and he’s working with Jorge!

He was working with a Chinese group and he came to the airport in Cusco when we were about to depart for Lake Titicaca, and we got to spend some time talking. What a joy to see and feel what an incredible young man he has become.

I asked him why he had returned to Peru and he told me, “I want to really learn all the spiritual teachings.” Isn’t that fantastic? This gangly little kid I met 11 years ago, has become a worldly, accomplished man interested in all aspects of the world, including spirituality. He said he plans to stay here for about two years and then he’ll be off to some other place in the world.

It’s reminiscent of my godson, Anthony, who I also got to see on this trip and what a joy that was. Back in 2008 when we went to Amantani for the first time (a very rustic, beautiful island in Lake Titicaca where at the time they had no electricity and no running water), we did a very special ceremony and we spent the night in the home of his family.

Anthony was 6 months old at the time, a tiny, adorable baby.

I spent a large amount of that evening holding him and at times I was crying gently and processing. His parents, Juana and Joaquin, don’t speak English, but in some way we really connected.

It turns out that two days later they were doing a ceremony with Anthony that is somewhat similar to what we know as baptism.

They asked Jorge to ask me if I would like to be a godmother for Anthony because they felt I had such a strong connection to him. They said they didn’t want any obligation from me, just the spiritual connection. I was honored and the ceremony was very beautiful.

After that, I would see Anthony every year and I’ve also happily contributed to the family and Anthony’s education. This photo is from 2014, when I brought him some blowing bubbles. At that time, Anthony was six and he told me he wanted to become a doctor. He also said he was learning traditional Peruvian dance and he enjoyed that very much.

Starting in 2015, Anthony started going to boarding school on the mainland so that he could receive a really good education, so he was never at home when we would spend the night at Juana and Joaquin’s home on Amantani. But this year, what a surprise. They brought him, along with his sister, to Chiquito where we had a reunion.

He showed me his school Certificate of Excellence and his parents told me what a good student he is. One of the members of our group interpreted (thank you, Rhonda!), and he told me again that he wants to be a doctor and how much he still enjoys dancing. But now he also really enjoys football (soccer).

To think that this boy from a small island, where they have almost no electricity or running water and when you take a walk you continually run into people who are herding sheep and donkeys, is going to become a doctor…this reminded me of Jorge’s son. Anthony’s energy is so sweet and pure, yet he is also a determined little boy and I can’t wait to see how this unfolds.

Another really fun thing we do every year is to go to Seminario Ceramics in Ollantaytambo. Pablo Seminario is one of the premier ceramic artists in the world, his works are displayed in various museums around the world, including the Field Museum in Chicago.

When I brought my first group in 2008, when we were returning from Machu Picchu by train after a very long day, Jorge asked me, “Would you like to go to the ceramics place?” Not having any idea of what an incredible place this was, I said no because everyone was tired.

One of the members of the group, Jennifer Watt, overheard us and said, “What are we talking about?” and I said, “That we’re not going to the ceramics place.” She said to me in her usual very direct way, “Who made that decision?” and I responded that I did. I then said if she wanted to go, we’d go and I am so glad I did. His work is so incredible and over the years, I’ve brought many of his pieces to my home and each year he speaks to our group and we have a wonderful interaction with him and his wife Marilu.

After that trip, Jen and I became great friends and in 2010, I asked her to lead my Peru trip two years in a row (I had Egypt in March, Peru in April and Bali in June, and it was becoming too much to handle), she loved Peru and she had experience leading groups. She did a fantastic job and from that, got a job leading trips to Peru, especially for high school and college students and teachers.

She has now been to Peru 54 times! And one of the things she has incorporated into the tours is an intensive piece of learning about traditional ceramics through Seminario! She, Pablo and Marilu have become great friends.

So when we were there last week, we took a photo of all of us to text to Jen saying, “Wish you were here.” Jen had just been in Sedona the week before visiting us at our home and we showed Pablo this photo of Jen and our friend Ranjita (who had been on the Peru trip with me in 2008 and again last year).

I told Pablo this is the view from our home, and he and Marilu should come and visit us in Sedona. He said, “If Jen will bring me, I will come to Sedona!”

So it’s so incredible to me, all these connections that started with this first trip and have woven their way through my life, and all these other lives, through the years. Not to mention the other close friends I have made through these trips, people who came on the trips, people I love who are a huge part of my life.

Because at the end of the day, all of this is not so much about the sites (although they are absolutely incredible), it’s about the amazing people we share them with and keep connecting with.

This year again, our group has bonded in such a beautiful, special way. One of the women said to me yesterday, “I can’t believe how I love everyone in this group and feel so close to them. Doing this with other like-minded people has just been so wonderful.

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